


I Told You I Was Trouble

by lost_and_found



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Language, Light Angst, Past, Relationship(s), Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-03-11 08:13:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 35,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3320330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_and_found/pseuds/lost_and_found
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica Havilton is a 25-year-old graduate student that works as a waitress at a pub. One night Tom Hiddleston and Benedict Cumberbatch walk into said place and Tom falls for the girl. What happens when she has to fight herself not to be with him? Can two people who lead completely different lives be together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Him

Jessica Havilton was your typical 25-year-old girl that led a life that was pretty simple. University, work, a small apartment in London, a couple of friends for the weekend, good music and endless books were all she had, and she wouldn't want anything more.

"Where are you, damn it?", Jessica ran all over the place to find her ringing cell phone. "Ha! There you are! Hello?".

"Hey, Jess!", a female voice said over the phone. "What's up? What took you so long?".

"Oh, hello, Liz! I couldn't find the damn thing. It was buried under my books. I seriously need to neaten this place up", Jessica said, looking over her small living room. "How are you doing, sweetheart?".

"I'm good, thanks! I was thinking...maybe I'll come over by the pub tonight. You know, catch up with you. I haven't seen you in ages", Liz pouted as if Jessica could see her.

"That would be awesome! But, please, don't frown over me, Liz. It's not like I'm enjoying not having at least some free time right now", Jessica sighed and continued, "but with my exams coming just around the corner, I barely have time to sleep or eat properly".

"Hey, if you're lighter than the last time I saw you, I'm taking you home and I'm feeding you", they both laughed.

"Alright, alright, scary little thing! So..see you tonight, right?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah! Goodbye, love", said Liz and they both hang up the phone.

Jessica went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. It was already six in the afternoon and her shift would start at eight. She was soon in front of her mirror, looking at herself. She had gone for a pair of black, high-waist, skinny jeans that flattered her long and thin legs, a denim shirt that hang loosely by her waist and a pair of biker boots with laces. Her long, black hair was held in a ponytail and her make-up consisted of red lipstick and smokey eye shadow that contrasted with her almond-shaped green eyes. When she had made sure that she looked fine, she wore her black, leather jacket, took her bag, put her cell phone and wallet in it, walked out of the door and locked it.

Riding the tube was one of Jessica's favorite things during her day. Her apartment was only four stops away from the pub, but that was enough of a distance for her to put on her music and read a book. During that time she was going through her "poetry phase", as she called it. She wasn't much of a poetry fan, but she enjoyed reading a few things, like Edgar Allan Poe and E.E. Cummings. And definitely Shakespeare. Oh, how she loved Shakespeare. 

When she got out of the station, she walked for a couple of blocks and, soon, was walking into the pub.

"Hello, love!", a tall man called by the bar.

"Hello, David!", she walked towards him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't you look lovely today!", he admired her and she blushed.

"Aw, aren't you the sweetest thing ever!", Jessica replied.

Soon the place was full. On a Friday night in London, you wouldn't expect any different, of course. Liz had already arrived, too, and after some hugs and chatting with Jessica, they were sitting by the bar, drinking beers and talking with David, who was both the bartender and owner of the pub. He was really funny and they were soon laughing hard. Suddenly, Liz stopped, her eyes wide, looking at the door.

"Oh. My. God!!", she almost screamed, but due to the loud music, only Jessica and David could hear her. "I can't believe this! Am I dreaming or did Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston just walk into this place and sit over there?".

Both Jessica and David turned their heads to look at the direction Liz was referring to. The two men were sitting on a table by the door. Both were plainly dressed. Benedict was wearing jeans and a black shirt, along with a pair of black All-stars. Tom was wearing black trousers, a dark blue jumper and a pair of black Oxfords.

"I'm going to take their order", said Jessica and got up from her seat.

"How can you be so calm about it?", asked Liz and, when Jessica didn't even look her way and walked away, she turned to David, "How can she be so calm about it?". David laughed hard and shook his head.

"Hello!", Jessica said while standing by Benedict and Tom's table. "Can I get you something?".

Benedict smiled and said _hi_. Tom did greet her, but was looking hard into the pocket of his coat that was hanging by the chair and he didn't look at her.

"I think I could use some beer right now", said Benedict, smiling at her. Jessica nodded and smiled back. "Tom?", he asked his friend. "Thomas! The girl's waiting!", he exclaimed.

"There it is!" Tom said happily, holding his phone. He finally turned his head to look at Jessica. His blue eyes widened when he saw her. "I am so sorry!", he apologized to her and turned to his friend. "She's gorgeous", he mumbled and they both smiled. "I would love a glass of beer if it's not too inconvenient" , he finally gave his order.

Jessica smiled. "It's my job! Two beers coming right up, then." She returned to the bar and gave David their order to prepare.

"What did they say?", Liz asked impatiently.

"Well, Benedict Cumberbatch said he wants to marry you!", Jessica teased her friend. She turned her head to their table and realised that Tom was looking at her. When he caught her eyes, he smiled at her widely.

"Shit! He definitely just smiled your way, Jess!", Liz exclaimed, raising her hands in the air.

"Please, David, give me the beers and while I'm gone, serve her something really strong. It's probably the only way she will shut up!", she said the last sentence looking at Liz, irritated. "Quit being a fan girl!".

She took their beers to them, they thanked her smiling and she went back to her friends. The night went on for some more beer for both parties. At around midnight some people had already left, even though the place was still quite full.

"Hey, Dave, would you cover for me for ten minutes? I really need a smoke right now!". David nodded and Jessica took a cigarette and a lighter and walked out of the door.

"Where is she going?", Tom asked Benedict worried.

"Wow! Easy there, big boy! She's right outside, having a smoke.", Benedict answered, looking out of the window.

"Then I think it's about time I had one", Tom replied and stood up. Benedict gave him a questioning look. "Don't! I honestly need one right now!", Tom said without looking at his friend and took his cigarettes out of his pocket.

"Of course you do, Tom. We all do after sex and you have been eye-fucking the girl all night. You do deserve one!", Benedict laughed.

"Fuck off!", Tom cursed and walked out of the door.


	2. Rejecting him

The cold breeze hitting Tom's face was revitalizing. Jessica had her back turned to the door, but as soon as she heard it open, she turned and looked at him. They both smiled and greeted each other. Tom lit his cigarette and inhaled the smoke. He wasn't a regular smoker, but he did enjoy one every now and then.

"I'm Tom", he said casually and gave her his hand.

"Jessica", she returned the gesture. "And I know who you are. I loved you as Coriolanus!", she blushed and smiled.

"Thank you! It means a lot! I loved playing him", he smiled widely. "Have you been working here for long?", he asked after hesitating for a while.

"Almost two years. I'm not sure if that's too long", Jessica stated.

"I guess it depends on what you want to do with your life", Tom replied, exhaling some smoke.

"Well, I most certainly don't aim to be a professional waitress", she said and they both laughed. "I mean...Don't get me wrong. I love this place and David, the owner, is a great guy. But this is temporary to me...just a way to make a living".

"So, what is it that you want to do?", Tom asked curiously.

"Well...I'm currently doing my Master's degree at LSE and I really hope I'll find a good PhD program after I'm done. I want to be an academic", she said, her eyes sparkling. It became obvious to Tom that it was her dream. He could see in her eyes the same passion he felt every time he was talking about acting.

"That sounds really interesting", he continued the conversation. "What field are you on?"

"International Relations", she stopped. "I know! It sounds boring when you compare it to what you do, but it's what I love", she looked to the ground. She put out her cigarette and looked back at him. "I should go back inside", she reached for the door.

"You know...I....", Tom tried to speak. She turned and looked at him. "I would really like to hear more about you. Would you let me take you to dinner sometime?", he hesitated but looked straight into her eyes.

"I..I really don't think this is a good idea!", Jessica replied.

"W-why not?", Tom asked impatiently.

"Look, I've got to go back inside! Dave's on his own. Bye!", she opened the door and disappeared.

A couple of minutes later Tom was sitting back to his chair. He gave her a quick glance. She was smiling at David who was passionately talking to Jessica and Liz about something.

"What happened?", Benedict asked.

"She...she rejected me", Tom said shocked. "I mean...I'm not shocked because she did. It's happened to me many times before. But...I...I....", he sighed.

"But you like her!", Benedict smiled compassionately at his friend.

"Yeah! I think I do! She's beautiful...She's a university student. International Relations, she said", Tom smiled momentarily, reminiscing her sparkling eyes.

"Maybe you came off too strong and you scared her", Benedict tried to explain.

"We were talking, Ben! I just asked her a few things about work and her studies and then she was done smoking and she was about to leave and I asked her out", Tom sighed yet again. "She works here. It's not like I can actually go there and flirt with her, you know! It was my only chance".

"You do have a point, it's true!", Ben agreed. "And I have a very pregnant fiancee waiting for me at home. I should get going. Are you coming?".

"Hm? Yes, of course!", Tom said, coming out of his deep thoughts.

"Why don't you leave a piece of paper with your number and name on it? She might change her mind", Benedict said.

"No! I'm going to respect her decision, Ben. Even though it might make me miserable...", Tom looked at his friend. Benedict walked to the bar, paid their bill and said his goodbyes. Tom waved from afar. Jessica turned her head the other way, and the two men left.

"What was that about?", Liz asked curiously. "Something happened out there?".

"I don't want to talk about it, Liz!", Jessica stated firmly. Liz was her best friend. She knew her so well that there was no way she could give her a _no_ that would be convincing enough.

"I thought you said you two just smoked and talked!", Liz wouldn't let go.

"He..um..He also asked me out", Jessica turned her gaze to the floor.

"Oh my God, Jess! Please don't tell me you said _no_!".

"That's funny! It's exactly what I'm going to tell you", Jessica answered. Liz opened her mouth to say something, but Jessica stopped her. "I said _no_ and that's it, Liz! No more talking about it. End of discussion on the matter. I've got to clean these tables and get going. It's already 01:30 and I should be up at 07:00 in the morning. I don't have time for this". Liz nodded reluctantly.

David dropped her at her place and made sure she was safely inside before he left. Jessica locked the door behind her and sighed. It was a long day. She walked to her room and changed into a pair of black leggings and a white T-shirt. She lied down in her bed and took her book. Reading was the last thing she did before sleeping, but that night she couldn't get herself to do it. It wasn't because she was tired. She just couldn't stop thinking about Tom. She had rejected him, alright. But it wasn't because she didn't like him. What's not to like anyway? His blue eyes could haunt her forever and his smile was so captivating that she had to think hard to be able to turn her head away from it. But her decision had been made a few hours ago. Her thoughts kept her awake for more that two hours, when she finally couldn't keep her eyes open any longer and fell asleep, thinking about him.

 

 


	3. Do you believe in destiny?

Jessica heard the alarm go off and raised her head from the pillow. She could always wake up easily, even after long nights. She got up and headed to the bathroom to wash her face. A few minutes later she was making tea. It was the same hard decision every day: _tea or coffee?_ That morning most certainly felt like tea. No sugar. She wouldn't have it any other way. Any sweetener or milk would destroy her precious brew. She sat in the armchair with both legs in it and looked outside the window. It was one of those rare days that London was sunny. And it was her day off. Not that it made much difference. Lately, days off meant she had to stay in, alone, and study hard. When she thought of work, her mind automatically wandered to the previous night....and him. She was already feeling much better. It must have been the tiring night she had that made her doubt her decision not to go out with him. She was sure as hell that morning. But...if she didn't want to see him again, why was she thinking about him? _Oh, come on, Jess! You have to study_ , she thought to herself, shaking her head as if to shake his image off of it.

Two hours later it was obvious that she just couldn't concentrate on her books. She had to do something and the first thing that came to her mind was to go out and study some place else. There was this beautiful cafe downtown she really liked. A peaceful place that was. Besides, she could grab something to eat there. She had already dropped a few pounds and Liz was scary enough when she threatened her about losing more.

It was almost 11:00 A.M. when she walked out of her apartment, wearing her ripped skinny jeans, a black jumper, a pair of leather sneakers and her leather jacket. She kept her make-up simple and natural and wore her hair down her shoulders. She walked to the place. It was sunny London after all, and she needed some air to clear her mind. When she reached the cafe, she found a small corner table with a comfortable chair and sat, taking her books out of her satchel bag.

"Good morning, Jess", the waitress greeted her smiling.

"Hey! Good morning, Alison", she greeted back.

"The usual?".

"Yes, please. You're godsend".

With her hands around the cup of tea, she was already feeling better and was going through her books when she heard a male voice above her head.

"You're probably going to say that you don't believe in destiny, but of all the places, I walked in this one today", Tom said smiling. "Good morning, sweetheart".

Jessica raised her eyes and looked at him, but managed to keep her cool. "Good morning to you, too. And you're right. I don't believe in destiny. It's a nice place, though", she said coldly and lowered her gaze back at her book.

"I apologize immensely. I didn't mean to distract you from your reading", Tom looked at her with puppy eyes when she raised her head again.

"I do believe in stalkers, though! You know...that they exist", she told him plainly.

Tom took a moment and once he realised what she implied, he immediately answered, "Oh, no, no! God! I...I'm having brunch with my mother and sister. I promise you!".

"Calm down! I was just joking", she reassured him. "But you should know, it's too early for me to meet your family", she smiled.

"Does this mean you're willing to take the steps before meeting families with me?", Tom played along.

Jessica wasn't sure if she could play smart with him any more. "Easy there! That was just another joke!".

"Oh, but you see, sweetheart, I'm perfectly serious", he stated. He sighed and looked straight into her eyes. "Alright. I'm going to say this and I honestly don't care if you believe me or not. I was going to respect your decision not to go out with me. I truly was! I would never go back to the pub, even though I liked the place. And I would somehow manage to forget you, even though it seemed unbelievably hard the moment I walked out of there. Even when, this very morning, I woke up with you on my mind, I was still going to respect what you said yesterday". Jessica couldn't even move. Tom continued, "When my mother said we should meet here, I hardly wanted to go. I was close to telling her that I wasn't feeling very well and we should postpone it. I would just stay home, on one of those rare days off I have, probably trying to find something to distract my mind from thinking of your beautiful eyes and that extremely captivating smile that I just had to see again". He sighed and smiled at her. "Then I saw you sitting here and I tried with every fiber of my being not to walk here and talk to you, but I realised that I couldn't fight a lost cause". He looked deep into her eyes. "So, I'm going to ask you once more. Will you have dinner with me?".

Jessica was speechless and that was a rare feeling for her. She looked back at him and answered, trying to look as composed as she could. "Tonight, 8 o'clock, my place. I'll cook for us. Don't bring anything", and she took a piece of paper and wrote down her address and phone number and gave it to Tom.

Tom took a minute to look at it. "I...Thank you".

"What for?", Jessica smiled.

"For saying _yes_. I really wanted you to say _yes_ ". It was obvious to Jessica that he was blushing.

"Alright! Don't get overexcited, though!", she said.

"I'll text you my number. See you tonight, sweetheart. Bye!", he smiled.

"Goodbye, Tom". she smiled back.

 _Great_ , she thought. _Now I'm most certainly not going to study_.


	4. What's too far?

"Are you serious?", Liz screamed.

"Yes, I'm serious, Liz!", Jessica smiled. "I just couldn't say _no_ to those eyes and after the way he asked, you know?".

"Oh, you? You could have...", Liz teased. "But I'm glad you didn't. Sooo...what are you wearing?"

"Probably my sweatpants and a T-shirt", Jessica teased back.

"Oh, come on, Jess! Don't fuck with me! I actually believe you might do that, so I will come to your house, make sure you're properly dressed and leave after he's arrived, just so that you don't have enough time to change", Liz exploded.

"Ha ha! Stop it, Liz! I'll see what I can do. But I can't promise you anything fancy. It's dinner at my place. Besides, it's not like I want to impress the guy", Jessica told her friend.

"Oh, I think he's already pretty impressed!", Liz stated. "What are you cooking?".

"Well, I was thinking Chinese, but I don't know if he likes it", Jessica questioned her dinner decision.

"He will love it, Ms. I-don't-want-to-impress-him!", Liz said mockingly.

"Fuck off, Liz! I just don't want him to starve", she tried to explain herself. "I'm going to go now, okay? Talk tomorrow?".

"Definitely! First thing in the morning! If it's not sex with Tom, that is", Liz laughed.

"Alright! That's it! Goodbye, my perverted friend", Jessica said irritated. Liz said her _goodbyes_ laughing.

At around 19:00, food was already cooked and Jessica was out of the bathroom, after a relaxing bath. She was standing in front of her wardrobe. It was the moment she feared the most: _what should I wear?_ She surely didn't want anything to happen between her and Tom that night. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she should have invited him over. What if she gave him the wrong impression? She couldn't go out with him, though. Being spotted having dinner with Tom Hiddleston was not exactly number one in her book. After several minutes, she had already decided and was wearing her clothes for the dinner. She chose a simple black shirt dress, black tights and a pair of black, leather brogues. Heels just didn't feel right. She went for red lips, while keeping the rest of her make-up natural. She blew her hair dry and let them down in those natural loose curls of hers. Right at the moment she had checked the food and made sure it was cooked, the bell rang. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt irritated by the feeling. She walked to the door and opened it. Tom was standing in front of her, his black coat opened, in a dark grey vest, white shirt, black trousers and black shoes. And he looked gorgeous.

"Hello, sweetheart! You look amazing", he smiled.

Jessica returned the smile and gestured so that he would walk inside. "Hello! Thank you...You don't look so bad yourself", she blushed. "Please, have a seat. Would you like some wine?".

"Oh, God! Please!", Tom sighed and started walking around her living room, inspecting her bookcase and a few photos on the shelves.

"Tough day?", she asked from the kitchen.

"No, not at all! I just need some courage, is all", he smiled at her, now leaning against the kitchen door and she tried to avoid his gaze. "I'm terribly sorry! I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I promise you I will behave my best. I'll be an utter gentleman and I won't do anything", he stopped, blushing.

"I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able not to be a gentleman even if you tried", Jessica smiled.

"Ehehe. You must know, it's getting harder every time I see you", he stated, his gaze predatory.

"Sooo...Here's your wine. Cheers!", she gave him his glass and kept one for herself.

"Cheers, sweetheart!", he replied. "You know, I really like your books. I have some of them myself. Are you a Shakespeare fan?", Tom asked.

"Have you met anyone in this country who likes literature and doesn't like Shakespeare? Because if you have, I'd like to meet them. They are a rare species", Jessica joked and Tom laughed hard. "Um...Dinner's ready. I hope you like Chinese".

"Oh, I love it! I make it all the time", he said enthusiastically.

"Okay! Now I'm really hoping it's good!", Jessica said worriedly.

"I'm sure it will be delicious!", Tom reassured her.

They both sat at the table and talked while eating and drinking. Jessica was having a great time and so seemed Tom. They wouldn't stop laughing and talking books, music, movies and plays. Some time later they were sitting on the couch in her living room. Jessica found out about his passion for Shakespeare, and how he wants to return to the theater soon. He also told her about his time at Cambridge and seemed to understand her exam anxiety perfectly. She told him about her love for indie rock, the latest books she had read, and soon found herself explaining some of the current international affairs to him, when he asked her eagerly. She realised they had many things in common, probably too many. Time went by extremely fast. She noticed there was no more wine in Tom's glass.

"Let me bring you some more wine", she tried to get up, but he stopped her, putting his hand gently around her wrist.

"There is only one thing I need", he said, still holding her hand, and came closer. She could practically feel his breath on her face. "And because I promised you I was going to be a gentleman, I'm going to tell you that I immensely want to kiss you right now, but I won't do it, not until you give me your permission", he was looking at her straight in the eyes. "So, I'm asking you. Can I kiss you?". He came even closer. "I need you to say _yes_. It's perfectly fine if you don't. I'll walk away and I'll wait until you want to see me again. I will insist, but I'll wait. But, please, say _ye_ _s_ ", he stopped.

Jessica didn't know if it was the wine or the guy or both, but she really felt like teasing him. She went as close to him as possible and shortly brushed her lips on Tom's.

"Oh, my God! Please, Jess! Say it!", he begged her, his pupils dilated. She smiled at him, their foreheads now touching.

"Yes".

Tom smiled and touched her cheek with his hand. He brought his mouth closer and what at first started as an innocent kiss, soon grew more passionate. He slowly licked her lips with the tip of his tongue. Jessica opened her mouth as if to give him permission to enter it. He smiled against her lips and his tongue was soon dancing with hers inside her mouth. After what seemed only a few seconds, he backed away, both now trying to catch their breaths. His forehead was still against hers and he was smiling widely.

"Okay...So...I'm going to walk out of that door right now", his hand raised towards the door, his index finger showing it, "because I can't honestly promise you I am going to be a gentleman from now on". He gave her a quick kiss and they walked to the door. "Can I call you tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure", Jessica rushed her answer as if she feared he might change his mind. He leaned for another kiss which she gladly gave him. "Goodnight", she smiled.

"Goodnight, sweetheart", he said tenderly and left unwillingly.

Jessica closed the door and leaned against it, sighing. _Oh, God! I'm in trouble_ , she thought and smiled happily.

 

 


	5. Worried over nothing

"Love, could you get the door, please? It must be Tom", Benedict shouted from the bedroom.

"Yeah, sure!", Sophie replied and walked slowly towards the door. When she opened it, she found Tom standing there, smiling broadly.

"Hello, darling! How are you?", he kissed her on the cheek. "How's the little one?".

"We're both good. Thank you!", Sophie brushed her hand over her belly and let Tom inside. "How are you? Oh, God, don't you look excited even for you!", she said, earning a gentle smile from Tom.

"Well, I haven't seen you in a while", Tom said, now sitting on the couch.

"From what I hear, that is not exactly the reason why, but it's good to see you, too, Thomas", she laughed.

"Hehehe", he blushed. "Alright! You caught me! But I am happy to see you".

Sophie asked him if he wanted some tea which he gladly accepted. Benedict soon joined them in the living room, and the three of them talked casually while drinking their tea. Tom got informed on the latest news of Sophie's pregnancy and talked with Benedict about his new movie. He also told the couple how excited he was to have a week to himself, and how he didn't know what to do with all this spare time he had on his hands. Lately it seemed very unusual for him to have time off, even one day, let alone a whole week. He would still do a couple of meetings or read scripts when he wasn't seeing friends and relatives. He even had an interview in three days, but most of the day, he could just sit back and relax, before returning to filming again. He didn't have to tell them about Jessica. He called Benedict right after he had left her house the previous night. His friend was furious for being woken up, but felt content with Tom's obvious excitement. When Benedict got back to bed, Sophie asked him what that was about, and he told her everything.

"So, Jessica....Did you talk to her today?", Benedict asked.

"I...I didn't want to impose on her, so I sent her a text to say _good morning_ and let her know that I had a great time and that her food was fantastic", Tom stated.

"Did she reply?", Sophie was curious.

"Yes, she did!", Tom said excitedly. "She texted me that she too had a great time and she was glad I liked her food". Tom frowned a bit. "I'm not sure if she wanted to reply, though...".

"Nonsense! Why wouldn't she? She told you to kiss her, didn't she?", Sophie tried to appease him.

"Well...Yes, she did...But, you see, the more I think about it, the more I believe she wasn't exactly sober", Tom ran his finger through his hair. "I really want to hear her voice", he blushed.

"Then call her! Stop acting like a schoolboy, mate!", Benedict stated firmly. "Don't over analyze things. She's a big girl. If she doesn't like you, she'll let you know".

"Yeah, yeah! You're right...I'm sorry", Tom apologized. 

"Ben! Don't be so hard on him. Can't you see the guy's smitten?", Sophie grinned and turned to Tom. "You should call her, though. Ben's right on that".

A similar conversation was taking part over the phone between Jessica and Liz, at almost the same time.

"Is he a good kisser?", Liz sounded curious.

"Oh, God! You have no idea! I just couldn't get enough of him. I thought I was going to cry when he was leaving!", Jessica thought back to that moment.

"He did text you, though. So, I'm guessing there's going to be more", Liz clapped her hands so loud that Jessica heard.

"I'm not sure... I'm afraid I was a bit cold when I texted back... I really hope he calls", Jessica worried.

"Why don't you call him? You have the number!", Liz questioned.

"I won't do that! I did reply after all. It's his turn!", Jessica stated. "Anyway...I really have to go! My books unfortunately won't be read by themselves. Talk to you later", they both said their _goodbyes_.

It was already 19:00 and Jessica had to go to the pub. She still had heard nothing from Tom, not even a text. She felt worried, but she wouldn't call him. What if he was drunk when he made a move and now he had regretted it? He did text her, though. What if something bad had happened? She shook her head and walked out of her apartment. It was time for work. She had gone for a white cropped top, a black leather mini skirt, high on the waist, and her biker boots. She topped her outfit with her leather jacket, wore her hair straight and finished her look with red lipstick.

She rushed into the pub, apologizing to David for being late, and explained how there was a delay in the tube and she had to walk there. He assured her that it was fine, a huge grin on his face. "Um, Jess...Someone's here to see you", David said amused and pointed to the table by the door. Jessica's eyes widened when she saw Tom sitting there with a beer. How could she have missed him when she walked in? She went closer, smiling at him.

"What are you doing here?, she asked surprised.

"Well, you see...", Tom rubbed his chin, "I sent you a text this morning because I didn't want to disturb you". He stopped as if he needed to gain courage. "But, then...I really wanted to talk to you, so I was going to call...And then I realised that I had to see you, so I came here instead...which I'm secretly praying is fine with you", he concluded.

"It's...it's totally fine...I wanted to see you, too", her cheeks were red from blushing.

"Then, I'm really glad I came. I've been here since 18:00...I didn't know what time your shift started. When I saw another girl serving, I was worried you had another day off. David must have figured it out, so he kindly let me know that you would be here at 20:00", Tom smiled. "Oh, God! I really want to kiss you! You look beautiful".

"Why don't you, then?", Jessica smiled back and they were soon kissing each other passionately, Tom's right hand on the small of her back and both of Jessica's on his neck. They separated when they heard David cough and burst out laughing. "And stop asking! It's an infinite  _yes_ to you kissing me. You can do it any time you want", Jessica stated. Tom hugged her and, after kissing her neck affectionately, making her shiver, whispered in her ear.

"But, I thought you have to work. I'm not sure David will appreciate me keeping you here all night", he winked at her and let her go back to work.

It was a relatively calm night. Not too many people had gone out on that cold Sunday night, which gave Jessica and Tom, who was now sitting at the bar next to her, enough time to chat, fool around and drink. A lot. Tom was mostly drinking whiskey, which Jessica found incredibly sexy, especially when he held his glass in front of his mouth before taking a sip, his white shirt sleeves shifted to his elbows. Jessica had gone for a couple of tequila shots and beer. Soon the pub was closing down and Jessica was getting ready to go home.

"Can I take you home, Jess?", Tom asked. "I promise you I'll drive you there and leave right after I make sure you're safely inside", he continued, his eyes saying a completely different story.

"What if I don't want you to leave?", Jessica murmured in his ear with a mischievous look.

"Please, sweetheart, don't tease me!", he threw his head back. "I'm only human, you know!".

Less than half an hour later they were standing in front of her apartment door. Jessica had her back against it. Tom had one hand on her waist, the other on the door, next to the left side of her head. Their kisses were growing more passionate by the minute, making it really hard to breathe for both of them. Jessica put her hand on his chest and pushed him away. Tom's eyes looked disappointed at the loss of her lips.

"Would you like to come inside?", she smiled and took the keys out of her bag. Tom breathed heavily, his eyes now sparkling.

"Oh, God! Yes!".


	6. First time together

Jessica closed the door behind her and, as soon as she did, Tom turned around and pressed her against the wall, pulling her jacket off. She gasped at the sudden move, but soon regained her composure. Their first kiss was soft, foreheads touching, but soon grew deeper. He easily raised her by the hips and steadied her back on the wall. With his hands he put her legs around his waist and caressed her hips, while kissing her neck and collarbone. Jessica rested one hand on his shoulder, the other brushing through his hair, and moaned into his ear. The sounds she made drove him crazy. His pants now seemed so tight, the bulge between his thighs growing bigger. He couldn't help himself any longer. He wanted her badly, his body aching to feel her touch all over.

"I think we should take this to the bedroom", he hissed in her ear and all she could do was nod, her head feeling dizzy from all the drinking. Tom didn't bother to let her touch the ground. He held her firmly in his embrace and she circled her hands around his neck. They walked like that to the bedroom, kissing each other hungrily. He opened the door and reached for the bed, laying her down on it. He took a moment to look at her deep in the eyes and Jessica blushed.

"Why are you staring at me like this?", she smiled.

"I want you so much right now!", he replied and started kissing her again. He patiently started lifting her top, kissing every part of skin that appeared. He wanted to take his time with her, savour every part of her incredible body. Jessica had her head turned to the side, eyes closed, trying to feel every touch and kiss he gave her. He took her top off slowly, her bra following soon after, and backed away. She stood up, not being able to stand his intense gaze on her, and closed the distance between them.

"Let me undress you", she smiled and clumsily undid the buttons of his shirt, taking it off of his shoulders. Tom chuckled at her impatience. Her hands started trailing down from his shoulders all the way to his hips and her lips followed the same path, leaving wet kisses on his neck, his collarbone, his broad chest. Jessica was soon on her knees, laying hot kisses on his lower abdominal. When Tom heard the sound of his belt unbuckling, he threw his head back and his eyes closed, mentally preparing himself for what was to follow. She lowered his pants and boxers down his legs, all at once, his erection already showing. Jessica took it in her hand and started stroking him lazily. She looked up, only to find him looking at her, his eyes black from lust. She opened her mouth and slowly took the head of his cock inside it, licking his pre-cum, never breaking eye contact with him.

"God! I had been thinking of this moment ever since I saw those wonderful red lips of yours tonight", Tom said in a husky voice, trying to catch his breath, his hands resting on her head. Jessica now had most of his erection inside her mouth, licking and sucking it hard and fast. "Fuck! Sweetheart, please, stop!", he begged, his voice hardly audible. She didn't comply. She loved the way he liked what she was doing to him. "Please, please! Jess, if you keep going, I won't last. Oh, God! You're so good!", he groaned.

Jessica stopped unwillingly. She stood up and kissed him passionately. His hands squeezed her hips while he kissed her back, his tongue fighting for dominance over hers. He pushed her back to the bed and took his shoes and remaining clothes completely off. He fell on his knees, took her boots off and started kissing her legs, from her calves all the way up to her inner thighs. He reached for her lace thong and took it off in one move, burring his head under her skirt. Jessica tried to pull back.

"I...I don't want you to do...that", she breathed heavily. "I need you inside me. Now!", she moaned when she felt his finger on her clit.

"Oh, really? I don't recall you being so impatient when you were torturing me just a few minutes ago", he grinned and licked her entrance.

"My God, Tom! Please!", she groaned.

"But, you see, sweetheart, I don't think that's enough!", he said firmly, pushing one finger inside her.

"Please, please, please! Tom!", she screamed.

Before pulling away, he reached for his pants, went over his pockets and took out a condom. He hovered over her body and looked her in the eyes, filled with lust. "I'm right here, sweetheart", he smiled at her while caressing her hair, his features softer than before, as if he had regretted making her beg him to stop. "I think we should do something about this skirt". Jessica nodded and raised her hips from the bed to help him take it off of her body. He was soon right above her, drawing her in deep kisses. Jessica could feel his erection on her lower stomach. He took the condom out of its wrap and slowly put it on his cock. He looked at her as if to take permission to enter her. When she smiled at him, he took his hard cock in his hand and led it into her entrance. They both groaned with every inch that entered her body and once he was fully inside her, Tom stopped to let her adjust to his size, looking at her affectionately. His gaze was so intense that Jessica felt her cheeks blushing. After a few seconds, Tom started moving, a slow, steady pace at first, but soon it became fast and erratic, earning loud moans from her.

"You're so tight! God!", Tom groaned.

"I...Oh....Tom!", she whispered.

"Please, sweetheart, come for me!", Tom crashed his lips on hers. As if his voice was enough for her, she felt her release approaching. 

"Oh, Tom!", she screamed his name like a mantra, her folds clenching around his cock, eyes closed and mouth half open. Tom took a moment to look at her, to admire her coming undone under his touch. He loved how beautiful she looked when she reached her peak. When he felt her stop trembling, he started thrusting hard inside her.

"Fuck! I'm coming!", he screamed and, after a few more thrusts, spilled his cum inside the condom. "Jesus!", he exclaimed, trying to catch his breath. He moved to her side, gave her a sweet kiss and walked to the bathroom to toss the condom away. When he came back, he found Jessica laying on her stomach, still naked. He leaned against the door and smiled. "That was amazing". He quickly walked to her side again and trailed her back with his long fingers, making her shiver. All Jessica could do was nod at his remark, her eyes slowly closing. He kissed her head, inhaling the smell of her hair.

"Will you stay the night?", she asked, blushing, half asleep.

"I'd love to if you would let me", Tom looked at the beautiful sight in front of him, thinking how he could spend night after night doing this with her. All of this. "God, I could just look at you all night!".

"However...I honestly believe we could use some rest right about now", she smiled, eyes still closed. Tom helped her under the covers.

"Goodnight, sweetheart", he kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight, Tom". Soon they were comfortable in each others arms and in deep sleep.

Morning didn't take long to come. Jessica slowly opened her eyes, feeling warm in Tom's arms. She looked at him, still peacefully sleeping next to her. She suddenly felt panic taking over her body. She didn't move in fear of waking him. _Oh, God, what have I done?_


	7. Is ever a mistake worth making?

Jessica slowly got her self out of Tom's arms. She pulled the covers and stood up on her feet, trying not to make the bed creak with her weight being lifted off of it. She quickly wore her underwear that was laying on the floor, took a pair of jeans and a jumper out of her closet and headed to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, regret washing over her. Her eyes were full with tears, but she refused to cry. She threw some water on her face and got dressed. When she left the bathroom, she was hoping that he wasn't already awake. She peeped out through the bedroom door, relieved to find him still sleeping. She ripped some paper from her notebook and wrote:

_I'm sorry I had to leave so early. Something came up and I didn't want to wake you. I'll probably go straight to the pub. It's going to be a busy night. I'll call you when I can - J._

She put it on her pillow and left, trying not to make too much noise while opening and closing the door. She almost ran to the street. After walking for half an hour, in an unsuccessful attempt to get all of this out of her mind, she found herself right outside Liz' door. She really didn't want to talk about it, but she needed a place to spend her day. And talking to Liz was obviously preferable to talking to Tom....at least for now.

"What are you doing here at....", Liz checked the time on her watch, "God!....08:00 in the morning!", she looked surprised. When Jessica saw her friend, she couldn't hold her tears back any longer. "Darling, what's going on? What happened?", Liz hugged her and let her in.

"I...I slept with him", Jessica cried harder, burring her face in her hands.

"Tom?", Liz knew the answer, but waited for Jessica to nod, before she continued. "Was it that bad that it's making you cry?", she tried to smile.

"Quite the contrary, I'd say...It was the best sex I've had in a while", Jessica wiped her tears from her eyes.

"Then, why are you crying, dear?", Liz asked.

"Because I shouldn't have, Liz! I can't fall for him! I can't fall for anyone right now and you know it!", she said firmly. "Hell, you were the one who said it first! Remember?", she snapped out of her mind, screaming.

"I do remember, Jess! But there was no Tom in the picture when I said it!", Liz was trying hard to keep calm.

"What difference does it make?", Jessica lowered her gaze.

"It makes all the difference in the world, Jess! And you know it!", Liz shouted at the top of her lungs, but when she saw tears coming down Jessica's face again, she softened her tone. "I'm sorry, darling...But Tom isn't just some guy. He likes you. A lot! For God's sake, in two days he's said to you more beautiful things than any other man you ever dated said in months".

"How can you be so sure that it wasn't some act he put just to sleep with me?", Jessica replied.

"I can't! But it doesn't take a scientist to figure out some genuine interest, Jess!", Liz tried to explain. "This guy is the only person, out of all those who have hit on you lately, that seems he can actually help you get back to who you were".

"Exactly, Liz! He's going to be some leverage I use to get over the shit that's on my mind. What if I don't genuinely like him?", Jessica stood up and walked to the middle of the room. "What happens when I hurt him? When he helps me back on my feet and I leave him? Do I get to do that to him? Do I have the right to crash him to the ground or do I back off before that happens?", she couldn't control her feelings anymore. "And sex just made everything more complicated! God! What was I thinking, sleeping with him so fast?". Liz stepped closer and touched her on the shoulder.

"The fact alone that you care so much about how he feels means you genuinely like him", Liz smiled at her friend.

"I can't do this, Liz! I can't fall for him....And he is the guy you fall hard for...", Jessica sighed.

"Don't do this to yourself, dear. You deserve anything good that comes your way", Liz took her by the hand and led her back to the couch. "Did you talk to him?".

"I did something really bad, Liz...", Jessica closed her eyes and threw her head back. "I...I left him there, asleep, a note next to him...I lied I had to leave and I would call him later...".

"Jesus, Jess! That's cruel!", Liz almost screamed. She couldn't even recognize her friend anymore. The Jessica she knew would never have done something like that, no matter what.

"I know! I already feel bad enough, Liz! I just couldn't deal with him...", Jessica tried to explain. "Can I stay here until I have to go to the pub?", she begged with her eyes.

"Alright", Liz sighed. "I have to go to work. Will you be fine?". Jessica nodded. "Do call him at some point".

Meanwhile, Tom had awaken with a broad grin on his face. He read the note and felt terribly sorry he had missed her. He needed to apologize for not controlling himself the previous night. He quickly got dressed and took his phone out of his pocket. He started typing a message to tell her how sweet it was of her to leave him a note and that he really needed to talk to her, but erased whatever he had typed. She told him she would call. There was no need to push her. He left her apartment and drove back to his house. As soon as he parked his car, he went inside. He desperately needed a long bath. When he had it, he changed into his sweatpants, a black T-shirt and a grey, wool cardigan. He headed to his office and sighed at the sight of endless scripts he had to go through. He decided that a cup of coffee (or three) and some reading would be a nice way to have a laid-back day and wait until Jessica called. He felt it was even harder to get her out of his head after the night they spent together. He would think of her body, the way she was trembling under him, the sounds she made, the way she was calling his name. _What have you done to me?_ , he thought and went back to reading.

Tom looked at his watch. It was already 19:30 and still no call or text from Jessica. She would soon start working, _a busy night_ she had mentioned, so calling him would soon be out of the question. He swallowed his pride and called her, but there was no answer. He started feeling worried, but tried to keep his mind occupied. He called his mother to check up on her, sat on his laptop and watched a movie. He also fixed himself a large bowl of salad for dinner and ended up sitting on his couch, reading a book, a glass of Jameson on the side table next to him. He felt his eyelids heavy. He checked his phone. 02:00 and still nothing. He typed a message.

 _I'm guessing_ _it was both a busy day and a busy night. I really hope you get home soon. I'd hate to see this beautiful face of yours tired. I'm off to sleep. Call me soon. Be safe, sweetheart. - Tom_

Jessica read his text and sighed. She tossed her phone back to the nightstand and cried herself to sleep.


	8. But I can't...

Jessica woke up in a terrible headache. She would swear that someone had been banging on her head all night. She had overslept, but she really didn't care. All she could do was open her eyes. Anything more than that seemed unbearable. After several minutes of merely blinking her eyes, she took her phone in her hand. She had two text messages and one missed call, all from Tom. She wasn't feeling very up to it, so she just left her phone beside her and buried her face in her pillow. This was all too much. Not just that thing with Tom, but her studies, too. She had already fallen two days behind in her tight schedule and her exams were due in a week. Sure, David was kind enough to let her off the hook for most of that time, but it wouldn't be right to be more of a burden to him than she already was. Plus, he had let her take the night shift for the last six months, ever since she began her Master's Degree, so that she could attend the afternoon lectures. She had to step up her game, since extra time off was most certainly out of the question. Not that David would deny her, but even so... She sat up on the bed and sighed. It was time to read those messages. Tom had sent one before and one after calling her.

 _09:30 - Good morning, sweetheart. I guess you're not up yet. Do call me when you are. I'm starting to worry. I hope I'm not too forward if I told you that I missed you_ _\- Tom._

 _12:00 - I think I've already crossed the line_ _of being way too persistent and I'm starting to believe that you have regretted our night together. I really hope I'm wrong, but if I'm not, please let me know - Tom._

She began questioning if he had the ability to be angry at anyone. He hardly knew her and she had disappeared for a whole day after having sex with him. Yet, he still was as a gentleman as the first time she met him. And the second....and the one after that. She still didn't know what to say. He didn't deserve a simple text, but she couldn't meet with him. She wouldn't be able to resist. He was everything she ever wanted; interesting, handsome, smart, romantic, funny, a true gentleman, one to make her heart melt and her knees go weak, just by glaring at her, just by smiling. And it was exactly that weakness that scared the hell out of her. She didn't reply. So rude, so out of character for her...and so mind-fucking. She decided to check her e-mails on her phone. Her study-group members had invited her to one of their gatherings and it would start in one hour in the university library. She rushed into the bathroom and tried to make herself at least presentable. She quickly got dressed and left.

Jessica barely made it there on time. She greeted everyone, got her books out of her bag and silenced her phone. It was the first time in days she had managed to study more than just a few pages. She also got to finish a very challenging paper that would be part of her evaluation in one of the lectures grade. That, she owed to Roger, a fellow student, who was always eager to help her out. Jessica knew that Roger liked her. He wasn't really trying to hide it. She never led him on. Not that he wasn't fairly nice in every possible way, but she was following the "stay out of trouble" rule, at least until she met Tom. And when compared to him, Roger was indeed falling short. She was surprised when she looked at the huge wall clock and realised that it was already a quarter to six.

"Alright, guys. I've got to run. Work... Thank you so much for that. It was certainly edifying", she whispered in an attempt not to disturb other people in the library. "I'll see you next Monday", she smiled. Everyone waved at her and she walked out of the library. She barely had two hours left. She took her phone out of her pocket. One missed call from Liz, which she was sure was just another attempt to make her change her mind about Tom, so she just ignored it, and one more text message from Tom. She sighed and tapped on the folder.

 _I don't know what I did wrong, but I need you to know, it was never my intention_. _I apologize unreservedly for whatever it is that I did to make you act like this._ _You apparently don't want to talk to me, let alone see me, so I'm not going to ask you to meet with me, even though I'd love to see you. All I'm asking of you is to let me know that you're alright and nothing bad has happened to you. Please, Jess, don't leave me worried. I apologize for the long text - Tom._

She felt like crap having him worry for her, when she had been nothing but indifferent towards him. This had come to an end. She still couldn't see him, but the least she could do to redeem herself even the slightest was to reply. She stopped walking and sat on a bench. She started typing and deleting and typing again. There was so much she wished to tell him. She wanted to explain herself, tell him how it was. But that wouldn't be fair to him. So, she kept her message simple and cold, knowing that she risked him hating her...if he was capable of that feeling.

_I'm fine, Tom. I'm sorry...I can't do this. Goodbye - Jessica._

When she closed the door to her home, she rushed into the bathroom, kneeled in front of the toilet and threw up. "Keep it together, damn it!", she shouted to herself. She got back on her feet and took a quick shower. She wasn't feeling up to going to work, but it would be very short notice to call David now, so she got dressed and left, still sick to her stomach. During all the way to the pub, there was only one image in her head, that of Tom reading her text message. She had hurt him. How incredibly selfish of her...

"Heeey, Jess!", David greeted her with a worried look. "Are you alright, love? You look pale".

"I'm fine, Dave!", Jessica's tone was sharp, indicating she didn't want to talk about whatever it was that was bothering her, so David let it slip, but kept an eye on her for the whole night. When they closed down the pub, they rode his bike, as always, and he took her home.

"Thank you, Dave! See you tomorrow", Jessica faked a smile.

"Jess...", Dave's voice was soft, "have you eaten anything all day?".

"Oh, God! I was studying and I sort of forgot to... This must be it". But it wasn't just that. She wouldn't worry David with telling him that she was feeling sick, though. She turned and tried to leave.

"Darling, you know you can tell me anything, right?", David was now right behind her, his helmet around his arm. He touched her shoulder. He could feel her trembling and immediately knew that she was crying. He slowly turned her around and hugged her, stroking her hair. "Hey, it's alright, love. Cry it out of your system".

"Care to come inside?", she looked at him and David nodded. Once they were, Jessica took two beers out of the fridge and handed one to David. They sat on the couch, one next to the other. He waited in silence until she was ready to talk. "Do you remember Tom?".

"You mean the guy that had his tongue down your throat the other night?", he made her smile. "He's an actor, right? What about him?".

"I slept with him that night", Jessica sighed, "and I shouldn't have".

"Jess, you were kissing. And quite passionately, if I may add. Sure it was early for that, but...I mean...if you like each other... What changed your mind?", David asked confused.

"It got serious, Dave! It wasn't just flirting anymore. And it didn't feel like it was a one-night thing!", Jessica stated.

"Did you want it to be?", David tried to look at her.

"No! It's not that...I can't be hurt. You know how I am right now...", Jessica seemed really tired.

"My sweet, sweet girl, don't do this. He seems like a nice chap. He waited for you for two hours, just to see you. He couldn't have been sure it would end like it did. Isn't that enough of an insurance?", he tried to explain.

"All it takes right now is one small thing to make me snap out of my mind, David", she looked him in the eye, making it obvious that she was being less and less calm by the minute.

"That's great, Jess!", David said ironically. "Keep leaving in fear just because...", he stopped himself.

"Just because both of my parents died, hardly a month ago, and I can't bare to lose anyone else right now!", she shouted. "Say it, Dave! I'm a big girl! I can handle the fact that they're dead!".

"You obviously can't, darling", David touched her hand. "And nobody's expecting you to, not this early. But don't let this guy go just because it might go wrong. Look at you! You're suffering already".

"I've made my decision and he already knows...", Jessica barely held her tears from falling.

"Does he know why?", David wiped them away from her eyes.

"No... There's no need", she shook her head, her eyes red and tired.

"Jess, you can't decide this for him", David tried to reason with her.

"Please, Dave. I'm too tired...".

"As you wish... Get some sleep, love. And for the love of God, eat something", he smiled. Jessica nodded. "Promise?", David headed to the door.

"Yes. Thank you for this". She hugged him and he kissed her cheek.

"Anytime, darling". As soon as he walked out of the door, Jessica locked it and went back to the couch, where Tom kissed her for the first time. _I miss you, too..._

 


	9. Now what?

"Hey, mate! It's so good to see you!", Chris hugged Tom and patted him on the back. "Are you alright, mate?", Chris looked at his friend worriedly. "You seem like you haven't had much sleep". Tom sighed.

Chris Hemsworth had become one of his best friends over the years. They had spent so much time filming together, days upon days in each others company, that they could actually say that they knew one another very well. Tom tried to reassure his friend that he only had a long night reading scripts and had to wake up early to have an interview and a photoshoot with some magazine. The second part was true. But the absolute truth was that he had spent his whole night trying to figure out a way to get her out of his head. He caught himself several times during the night looking at his phone screen, reading her text message time and time again, telling himself it was over...over before it even began. He wasn't one to take sex lightly, or even flirting. He would only engage in both of those things when he just couldn't help himself not to. And with Jessica, he couldn't. When Chris called him the previous day to let him know that he was in London for a few days, he was happy to see a close friend, to talk to somebody he knew was going to make him feel better. But while he was walking to the place where they would meet to have brunch, he felt extremely selfish to impose on him with his love life...or better, the now hurtful lack of it. So, he tried his best to look his usual cheerful self. And he failed miserably.

"Talk to me, mate! What's wrong with you?", Chris asked. "And don't say _nothing_!". Tom closed his eyes momentarily and then looked at Chris with a serious face. He told him everything about Jessica; how they had met and he couldn't take his eyes off of her, about the day of their accidental encounter in that little cafe...everything.

"I just don't understand... I'm thinking... Hell! I've done nothing else but think of every possible reason that drove her away. I slept with her way too soon and I know that. I was going to apologize. I never got the chance...", Tom sighed and looked down. "I never thought it would be enough to make her not even want to talk to me again".

"Man, I obviously don't know the girl and I don't mean to be rude, and I know this is not going to help much, but she probably had her fun and now she doesn't care", Chris tried to reason with his friend.

"I don't know, mate... She didn't strike me as the one-night-stand girl, you know? Besides...", Tom took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "even though she was a bit dizzy, it felt wonderful being with her in bed. Like she really wanted all that, like she actually cared about pleasuring me, not just herself. You don't do that for somebody you just fuck, I guess".

"There's not much you can do about it now, is there?", Chris patted Tom on the shoulder and Tom shook his head in response. "Let's talk about something else, then", he smiled. Tom asked him about Elsa and their kids and learned the latest on Chris' new project. "When are you leaving for L.A.?", Chris asked.

"Um... God! I've lost track of days! I'm flying on Sunday morning", Tom replied.

"Have some fun until then, mate. Don't wander around your house thinking about that Jessica chick, alright?", Chris gave him a soft smile. "I've got to go now. I'll see you in L.A. next week". They got up from their seats and hugged each other, saying their goodbyes. Tom decided to take a walk through Hyde Park, before he went home. _Don't think about her... Easier said than done, Chris. You haven't seen her..._ , he thought to himself, walking, his hands in his coat pockets.

"Tom! Tom!", he heard female voices behind him and turned around to find three young girls waving at him. He always loved meeting his fans. Not every minute was appropriate, but he could never deny them any request. He always said that he was an actor because there was an audience and his devoted fans made him feel blessed, humbled. "Oh, my God! Can we take a picture with you?", one of the girls asked enthusiastically.

"Hello, there! Sure you can!", he smiled widely. The three girls gathered around him and the same girl struggled with her phone to fit everyone in the picture. "Please, allow me", he opened his hand and the girl handed him the phone and he took a selfie of the four of them. They chatted for a few minutes, thanked each other and everyone went their way. His spirits were relatively lifted by the time he got home. The long walk did him good.

The days until his departure passes quickly. He had a meeting with Luke to go over his schedule for the first few days in L.A., and read some scripts, but mostly he would see his family or stay at home, read a book or two and watch some movies. The night before he was leaving, Benedict, Sophie and himself got together in a pub for a few beers. Tom would be away for a whole month, filming part of his new movie, and he wanted to say a proper goodbye to his friends, who gladly accepted his invitation, even though Sophie complained about not being able to drink in her situation. When they entered the pub, Tom's body froze and he felt that, for a moment, his heart stopped. There was Jessica, beautiful as ever, sitting on a table with a group of people she seemed very familiar with, laughing and drinking.

"Damn it! What is it with you, kids?", Benedict exclaimed when he saw her. He practically had to pull Tom away from the door and drag him to the table across the one Jessica was on, where Sophie had already claimed a seat, a confused look on her face. Tom got lost in the sight of her. She looked even prettier than he remembered, her long black hair hugging her shoulders and falling down on her chest, her smile making it hard for him to breathe. He couldn't stop looking at her.

"Is that her?", he heard Sophie ask and the question brought him back to reality. "She is indeed beautiful".

"Yeah... Tell me about it!", Tom sighed. He felt his blood rushing to his head when he saw a guy, who was sitting next to her, brushing his hand over hers. Jessica quickly pulled it away and stood up, pointing at the door. She took her cigarettes and started walking towards the exit door. That's when she locked eyes with Tom, panic washing over her body. She lowered her gaze and quickened her step.

"No!", Benedict pulled Tom by the wrist when he tried to get up. When Tom's eyes caught that same guy following Jessica, he sat back in his chair and buried his head in his hands. Several agonizing minutes passed and he didn't know what to think or do.

"I need to see this, mate. It might put me at ease to know that she played me", Tom said and Benedict nodded defeated. Tom took a deep breath and walked out of the door.

"Let go of me, Roger! Stop it!", Jessica shouted, trying to shove Roger away from her, while he was holding her tightly in his arms, trying to kiss her.

"Hey, mate! I think you heard the lady!", Tom gritted his teeth, trying not to punch him in the face. When he saw Roger look at him angrily, still trying to kiss her, he undid his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves. "Let's not cause a scene...". He warned him and Roger let go of Jessica and walked back inside. "Are you alright, sweetheart?".

"Um...yeah! Thank you!", Jessica couldn't bare to look at him. Tom closed the distance between them. He raised his hand to touch her, but retreated it quickly.

"I seem to run into you a lot...", he smiled at her, even though she was still not looking at him. "Can we talk?".

"Tom, please! There's nothing to say", she slowly raised her head and tried to reach for the door, looking the other way, but Tom blocked her way.

"I'm leaving tomorrow", he desperately searched for her eyes with his own. "I'm going to L.A. I'll be gone for a month...", he brushed his palm on her arm.

"Have a nice trip!", she finally looked at him, her green eyes cold, making him wish she'd never done. "Can I go back to my friends now?". Tom unwillingly moved to the side and let her go. He refused to turn around and watch her disappear once again.


	10. Let's make a plan, shall we?

It took Tom only a few days to discover how hard it would be to forget about Jessica. The night he met her at the pub, after their small talk, he went back inside, took his jacket and stormed out of the place. All he said was a mere goodbye, not even looking at his friends. He knew it was a big mistake. It wasn't Benedict or Sophie's fault and he got it out on them. He sent a message to his friend on his way home to apologize. Benedict was very disappointed in him, but he didn't say anything, assuming that the worst had happened out there. And to Tom, it had. He was certain he could take seeing her kissing another man...or so he thought, at least. But that...that was entirely different. When she looked at him, she wasn't annoyed or sad or angry, not that he wanted her to be. But he couldn't get over the emptiness of her green eyes. That, he couldn't take. He couldn't believe that those eyes that filled his heart with emotions he never thought he could feel so strongly, were now causing him pain. When he got home that night, he slammed the door behind him. He was angry and that was a rare feeling for him. It made him feel uncomfortable. It made him act like he wasn't himself. That night he decided that he would forget about her while he was in L.A. _It was nothing anyway_ , he kept thinking in his head. But on the first day on set, he met the girl that would be responsible for the cast's make-up routine every day. And her name...was Jessica. After that particular part of the day, he mostly did fine at keeping her out of his mind. He would do some filming, go running on the beach or fool around with other members of the crew. He always had a blast on set. He also met with Chris a couple of times, both of them silently agreeing on not talking about her. At night, some members of the crew would usually go to a bar and have a few drinks. He always had fun, even though he would sometimes space out. There was even an actress in the cast, Brenda, an American with a small part in the film, who obviously had the hots for him. She was pretty, but she wasn't Jessica. _Why are you haunting me, damn it?_ The most difficult part of the day was when he was back in his hotel room. There he was alone, no one to distract him. It was this time of the day that was proving more challenging not to think about her, not to call her, not to send her a text message. But he was getting there. Slowly, but he was.

Back in London, the first week of Tom's absence was also the week of Jessica's exams. In the beginning, Liz and David believed that she was stressed out because of that. She had dropped a few more pounds, but Liz knew that anxiety did that to her. She would gain the weight back once that week was over, so both Liz and David left the subject alone. They gave her a few days, after that particular week ended, to get back to herself, but it seemed less and less possible by the day.

"We've got to do something, Dave!", Liz sighed.

"I know... I'm really worried", David rubbed his hand on his chin. "I'm starting to think that she doesn't eat...like...at all".

"And it's not just that, you know! She refuses to talk to me, tell me what's wrong. The only answer I get is _it's nothing_ ", Liz was about to cry. "She's never done that before. Not even when her parents died...I don't know what to do".

"Well...I have an idea, actually", David hesitated at first. "That's why I wanted to meet tonight that she's not here".

"I'm listening", Liz said curiously. What on earth could David have thought that she hadn't?

"She's obviously like that because of that guy, Tom... She won't admit it, but I think she knows she made the wrong decision", David said. "I was thinking...She must have kept his number, at least so that she knows it's him if he calls and not answer. You could visit her and get it from her phone. We call him and we ask him to go see her, try to talk to her. If he's still interested, that is". Liz looked at David with a grin on her face.

"I don't believe you! This might actually be a bloody good idea. I don't know if it's going to work. I'm not even sure if he's spoken to her all this time", she got serious again, "but it's probably the only thing we've not tried yet. And I know her password so, unless she has changed it, it's going to be relatively easy".

Liz didn't waste any time. The very next morning was her day off and decided it was a perfect chance to put David's plan in motion. She hadn't seen or talked to Jessica for a whole week, so she knew that her friend wouldn't be surprised to see her at her door, unannounced. Almost one month had passed since her exams had started and now that they were long over, she felt she had to do something drastic.

"Hey, you!", Liz smiled when Jessica opened the door. She tried not to freak out at the sight of her friend. She was thinner than ever. One could actually see through the gap between her inner thighs. She looked pale, her eyes red, like she wasn't getting enough sleep.

"Hi!", Jessica said weakly and let her in. She was happy to see Liz. She was feeling bad for shutting her out of her life. She knew she had to get back on her feet, she just didn't know if she could or how to ask for help...or if Liz was the one she needed help from.

"How are you, darling? I missed you...", Liz said sincerely and sat on the couch.

"I'm...good", Jessica felt pathetic. She couldn't even sound convincing enough. "Would you like some tea or something?".

"You know what? Why don't you go get dressed? And then you and I can go shopping. We can get coffee on our way to Oxford Street", Liz saw Jessica's hesitation and added, "I promise you'll feel better. Please?", she pouted, making Jessica smile and nod in response. _Good! My friend is still somewhere in there!_

"I'm going to get ready", Jessica said and walked to her room. It was the perfect opportunity. Liz stood up and looked down the hallway to make sure the bedroom door was closed. She took Jessica's phone from the table and unlocked it. She fortunately hadn't changed her password. Liz searched for Tom's number in her contacts. David was right; the number was still there. She quickly copied it and saved it on her own phone and put Jessica's back to its original place. "Okay! I'm ready. Let's go!", Jessica called. Liz got up and followed her out of the flat. _Mission accomplished!_

When Liz pressed the call button on her phone, she felt anxiety running through her veins. Sure, she was willing to do anything for her friend, but this was Tom bloody Hiddleston we were talking about. And she was about to talk to him.

"Hello?", she heard a bleary voice.

"Oh, my God! Did I wake you?", Liz sort of freaked out.

"Um...It's alright. Who is this?", Tom asked, still not fully awake.

"I'm so sorry! I...I'm Liz, Jessica's friend. I was with her the night you met her at the pub", Liz explained, not really sure if he would remember. Tom took a moment to realize who she was.

"God! Is she alright?", it was Tom's turn to freak out.

"Yeah, yeah! I mean...she's not in the hospital or something...", Liz sighed. "I'm sorry for calling you. I didn't know what else to do. Mr. Hiddleston-"

"Tom, please".

"Um...Tom, I think she misses you...A lot!", Liz tried to explain, unable to find the right words. "She's been miserable ever since she sent you that message...".

"Did she ask you to call me?", Tom asked.

"No! She doesn't even know... And she'll probably kill me when she does!", she shook her head at the thought. "Could you please come by the pub tonight? Dave and I would like to talk to you".

"I'm in L.A. Hasn't she told you?", Tom frowned.

"Wait... How does she know?"

"Oh, God! I gather she also never told you that we ran into each other the night before I left", Tom sighed. "It doesn't matter... I'm back in two days".

"Good! She's not working on Wednesday. Is 18:00 alright with you?", Liz asked.

"Yes, sure! Six is fine... I'll see you then", Tom replied. "Um...Liz?".

"Yes?".

"Thank you".

"I should be the one thanking you. See you soon. Bye!", Liz replied. _This had to work..._

 

 


	11. All I want is you

Tom could barely keep his mind straight while driving to the pub. Six o'clock sharp. He had already been waiting for too long, anyway. Having landed since Saturday, the next four days seemed endless. So much for trying to forget her! Ever since Liz had called him, all he could think about was Jessica. What was so important? And if she missed him, why on earth didn't she call him? There he was again, about to enter the "crime scene". For a moment he thought - no, wished - she would be there. He saw David and Liz by the bar and smiled gently.

"Hello", he waved shyly.

"Hey, mate!", David said and Liz smiled. "Would you like a beer? It's on the house. You'll probably need it".

"Um...yeah! Sure! Thanks", Tom smiled weakly and turned to Liz. "How is she? How did she do on her exams?".

"She did great, actually. Passed them all with flying colours!", Liz grinned.

"Oh, God! Where are my manners? Forgive me! Allow me to properly introduce myself", Tom blushed and extended his hand, giving it first to Liz and then to David who couldn't hold his laughter. Liz smacked her friend on the shoulder. Tom blushed even more.

"I'm so sorry! It's just... Our friend is a moron!". He turned to Liz, "She can't possibly think that this guy can hurt her. Look at him! He can't even help himself!".

"Dave!", Liz shouted.

"She...um...she thinks I'll hurt her?", Tom asked in a quiet voice, almost breaking. "Why would she think that? I'd never do that!".

"We know that, Tom", Liz reassured him. "And deep down she knows that, too". David nodded in agreement. "We won't prolong your torture. Tom....the reason why Jessica is afraid to be with you is because she lost her parents two months ago, one month when she met you".

"God! What happened?", Tom's eyes widened.

"They died in a car accident on Christmas Eve...", David took over from Liz.

"They died on Christmas Eve? Gosh!", Tom rubbed his palm on his neck.

"They were having dinner at some relatives' house. Jessica couldn't go because we were working. We were having a party, really. Her parents would drop by afterwards. They never came... The police did, though. They couldn't reach her on the phone, because the music was too loud. So they came here and told her in person...", David sighed. Tom was in shock. All he could do was shake his head.

"I still remember her screaming and crying. I can't even imagine what it was like for her...", Liz' eyes welled up. "Dave and I tried really hard to help her get over it. And it was brutal, I'm telling you. We honestly thought she never would and who could blame her, really? I mean, losing one of your parents is hard enough. Imagine losing both of them in a single day. Then one day she walks in here, smiles at us and says _They'd want me to go on_. _I'll be fine as long as I stay out of trouble_. That's when I told her she should refrain from any kind of romantic relationship for a while. Just to avoid the heartache, you know?". Liz felt guilty, "I was rooting for you, though, Tom. We both were. I'm sorry I suggested she should stay away from men. I never thought the man she'd always dreamed of actually existed, let alone walk into her life".

"Please, you have nothing to apologize to me for. You were just looking out for your friend", Tom tried to smile, still unable to take it all in.

"She likes you a lot. She won't admit it, the stubborn thing, but we know her all too well. She's afraid she'll fall for you and she won't be able to take it if she loses you. She is saving herself from the heartache, I guess. Or so she thinks. Because I'm telling you, mate, she's failing miserably. She's a mess without you", David patted Tom on the shoulder.

"What do I do?", Tom sighed.

"She probably won't answer her phone if you call her, so....we were thinking, if you could go by her house -".

"I'll go now!", Tom stated firmly, causing the other two to smile. "Can I go now?", he asked hesitantly.

"Sure, mate!", David answered.

"Before you go, though, I should warn you about two things; Firstly, we sort of argued on the phone earlier, so I'm guessing she's going to be pretty pissed off. And secondly, she's lost a lot of weight lately. It might be a shock", Liz explained the situation. Tom sighed.

"I think I'll manage", he smiled. "Thank you so much for this, guys".

"Thank us later", David chuckled. "Good luck!". They waved goodbye and Tom turned on his heel and left.

Tom was driving in his car, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt so guilty for being angry at her, so selfish. Then the rage came back. Why didn't she just tell him all this? He would have waited until she felt ready. He would have tried to make her believe in him. He parked outside her house. He really needed a cigarette to help him relax, but her window was looking down the road he was on and he feared that if she saw him, she wouldn't open the door. He took a few deep breaths and walked through the main entrance when some resident opened it to exit. He climbed the stairs and rang her bell.

"Liz, I swear to God, I - What are you doing here? Leave!", Jessica tried to close the door, but Tom put his hand against it and gently pushed it open again. Jessica gave up without a fight and walked to the living room, her back turned to Tom. He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Why are you starving yourself?", he tried to hold back his tears at the sight in front of him.

"What do you want?", she still wouldn't look at him.

"Why didn't you tell me about your parents?", Tom closed the distance and put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm going to fucking kill them! Which one told you?", Jessica jolted her arms.

"Stop it!", Tom grabbed her by the wrist and turned her around to see her face. "Both Liz and David have been nothing but good friends to you, Jess".

"They didn't have the right to tell you! It's my bloody problem!", she was boiling inside.

"It's their problem, too, Jess! They want to see you happy. They want you to go back to who you were", Tom was trying hard not to explode.

"No one's asking me what I want!", Jessica tried to walk away from him, but he was holding her tight.

"What do you want? I'm asking you! Tell me!", he looked at her, her face down, eyes on the floor. He put his fingers on her chin and lifted it until he could finally see her face. "Look at me, Jess. Please...". When her eyes met his, he smiled tenderly. "Can I tell you what I want?". She nodded. "I want to be able to look at you and see you smile. I want to see that sparkle in your beautiful eyes again. I want that _infinite yes to me kissing you_ , remember? I can't promise you I won't hurt you. What I can promise you, though, is that I will do anything in my power not to. Please, Jess, will you give me that chance?".

"I'm scared...", Jessica's eyes welled up and a tear left her eyes. Tom took her in his arms.

"Don't be, sweetheart. I'm right here for you", he said stroking her hair. "Let me make you some tea and put you to bed. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep and then go home". Jessica pulled her head from his chest and looked at him, for the first time in long, with warm eyes. The same warmth that made him fall in love with her in the first place.

"Can we skip the tea and..." she blushed, "can you stay with me until morning comes?". Tom smiled and nodded. He took her by the hand and led her to the couch. He sat and she put her head on his lap. The silence between them was the most comfortable both of them had felt in days.


	12. My new favourite game

That night was the first time in days that Jessica had slept so well. By now, she had gotten used to waking up in the middle of the night by terrible nightmares. She mostly couldn't remember what it was that she had dreamed of, but the panting and the sweat on her forehead indicated that it couldn't be something good. When she opened her eyes, she saw Tom looking at her, a smile on his face, one hand under her neck holding her head close to his chest, the other stroking her arm.

"Good morning", he whispered.

"Mmmm...Good morning, indeed", she closed her eyes momentarily and sat up, pulling herself from his embrace.

"Why did you do that?", Tom looked serious.

"What did I do?", she worried.

"I haven't had enough. Come back here!", he opened his arms.

"You were holding me all evening...and all night", she said rubbing her eyes with her fists. "I'm pretty sure this could be taken as _enough_ ", she smiled, deep down wanting him to protest.

"But I really want more!", he said with puppy eyes. "Please?".

"Oh, well! If you're asking so nicely...", Jessica gave him a quick peck on the lips and buried herself back in his chest.

"He he! I win!", he stroked her hair and she looked at him.

"Really, Hiddleston? This is a game, then?", she smiled mischievously.

"Not yet. But I can turn it into one if you want me to!", Tom winked at her and she laughed. "Now...about that kiss, I don't think it can be considered as a proper one, especially after the hell you put me through", he leaned forward and placed his free hand on her cheek. He looked at her, still trying to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Are you going to kiss me or will you just keep staring at me?", Jessica smiled. Tom put his lips on hers, longing to feel them again. He kissed her hungrily and pleaded for her lips to let his tongue enter her mouth. She gladly responded, licking his lower lip. They were both moaning, their hands all over each other. Jessica's hand was resting on his hip and, when she tried to retrieve it, she accidentally brushed his crotch, feeling his erection that was obviously growing due to their making-out. Tom suddenly broke the kiss.

"Oh, God! This is so embarrassing!", he buried his face in her neck. "I'm so, so sorry!", he looked at her again, blushing. "I wasn't going to -".

"It's okay, Tom!", she interrupted him. She gave him another quick kiss and whispered in his ear, "It's not like I wasn't affected by your kiss". She quickly pulled herself from his arms and got up from the bed. Tom threw his head back.

"Oh, God! You did not just say that to me and walked away!", he shook his head.

"I win", Jessica laughed hard.

"Tease!".

"Ha ha! Take your time to cool down. I'm going to make breakfast". She walked out of the bedroom. Tom got dressed and joined her in the kitchen after a few minutes, determined to spend the least possible time away from her. He found her sitting in the chair, a mug in her hands, her knees touching the table edge. She had left a cup of tea, a small pitcher of milk and a plate with french croissants at the other side of the table. "It's not much... I wasn't expecting anyone to have breakfast with me this morning", she tried to apologize.

"It's perfect! Thank you", Tom kissed her head and sat in the chair across her. He spilled the milk in his tea cup and took a sip.

"I have a class in two hours, which means I should be out of that door not long from now", she told him.

"Oh, okay! I have to see Luke, my publicist, anyway. I'll go home, shower and put some fresh clothes on before the meeting. Why don't I give you a ride to the university?", he suggested. When he saw her hesitation, he quickly added, "You'll have to leave later than usual and I get to spend more time with you. Win - win!". Jessica smiled.

"If you put it this way...", she left the mug on the table and looked at him warmly.

"Listen, Jess... I wanted to talk to you about something", he looked serious. "I'm sorry I slept with you the other time. I...", he didn't really know what else to say.

"What? You didn't like it?", Jessica smiled at the way he was blushing. _He is so adorable_ _!_

"Trust me, sweetheart, I'll be glad to repeat it any time you allow me to! But...you know what I mean. I don't want you to feel I disrespected you", he got serious again.

"Tom", Jessica stood up and walked to him. When he pushed his chair away from the table, she sat on his lap, "you didn't do anything I didn't want you to. Don't worry! Sure, it was too soon, but I enjoyed every bit of it", she kissed him. "However, I'd like to wait for a while before we repeat that if it's okay with you". She kissed his cheek, then his ear lobe, and lowered her lips to his neck, leaving a wet trail with her tongue.

"It's totally fine with me, sweetheart, as long as you stop doing that...Oh, God...because you're making it one hell of a challenge right now", his voice was husky, his eyes closed. "Come on! Go get ready!".

Jessica almost skipped to her bedroom, causing Tom to laugh hard. She closed the door and stood in front of her mirror. She looked like a mess. Why he still liked her like this, was beyond her. She was determined not to sleep with him again until she had first sorted out her feelings on the whole situation, but teasing him had become her new favourite game, as of that morning, so she decided to look her best when she would walk out of that room. She took a black jersey mini dress with a turtleneck out of her closet and changed into it. She put on her tights and a pair of beige suede ankle boots with a mid heel, let her hair down and brushed them all to the left side of her head. She put some light red lipstick on her lips and black mascara on her eyelashes. She grabbed her bag that was filled with books, wore her black leather jacket and walked out of the bedroom. She found Tom standing in front of a her bookshelf, looking at a picture of her and her parents on graduation day.

"This picture is lovely", he said, turning around to look at her as soon as he heard footsteps coming closer. "Oh, my God! Are you trying to kill me?", he put the picture back to its place and hugged her. "You look fantastic! How am I supposed to hold back with you looking like this?".

"Oh, you'll manage, Hiddleston! You're a man of your word, aren't you?", she smiled cunningly. "Shall we?", she motioned to the door.

"Two thing; One, can't you skip class today? And two, can I not be a man of my word anymore?", he said and gave her a kiss. She wiped the red colour from his lips.

"No to both! Come on, now! I don't want to be late and you've got a meeting".

The ride to LSE was mostly silent, both of them looking at each other at any given chance. Tom brushed his hand on her knee when they stopped at a traffic light. Jessica grinned and put her hand on his. He told her to call Liz and David, let them know that she was feeling better, apologize for being so distant lately. She frowned at the thought at first, but knowing he was on the right, nodded defeated. Besides, he wouldn't tell her how Liz got in touch with him and her friends were the only ones left to solve the mystery.

"Let me take you to dinner on your next day off", he suggested.

"I...um...I wanted to talk to you about that, actually", she hesitated.

"Oh! What is it, darling?", he asked worriedly.

"Could we please not do dates out? I don't think I can handle being seen with you right now...I mean, the fuss about it. Home's fine for now...", she looked at him.

"Um...yeah! Sure! But maybe I should talk to Luke about it. See what we can do", Tom answered.

"Why would you do that? What does he have to do with anything?", Jessica asked irritated.

"Sweetheart, it's his job! I need him to tell me how to do this so it doesn't interfere with us being normal", he tried to explain.

"I really don't appreciate someone else dictating what I do in my life", Jessica huffed.

"Why are you being paranoid? You asked not to be seen with me!", Tom said annoyed.

"You know what? I'll walk the rest of the way. Thanks for the ride!", she reached for the door when the car stopped at a traffic light.

"Jess!", Tom shouted but she closed the door and left. "Damn it!".


	13. Don't do this to me

"She's right, Tom...", Luke said.

"Are you kidding me right now?", Tom huffed. "Am I supposed to be locked up in a house until she's ready to go out with me? I want the whole thing with her, Luke; the dates, the opening doors for her, the thrill of not knowing if she'll invite me to her house afterwards... And I said I'd try to find a way for us to have all of these and she left! Where exactly am I wrong?".

"First of all, keep your voice down, Tom! People might hear you and none of us needs that right now", Luke said firmly and looked around to make sure other people in the restaurant were having their lunch, minding their own business. "Second, I never said you are wrong. All I said was that she's right. And you never said any of this to her, not in the way you're telling me, did you now?". Tom shook his head. "You just threw the name of a publicist she doesn't care about and said that it is that guy who would tell you what to do. What did you expect? She doesn't live her life the way you do. She doesn't know this. Give the girl a break! Of course she doesn't want to be seen with you, Tom. It's too much for her right now". Tom tried to speak, but Luke didn't let him. "Let me explain something to you. Being with an actress is not an interesting story for the media or your fangirls. You meet on set or an award ceremony, you fall for each other, you're together. If she's already quite famous herself, it's even duller. People already know about her, so there's nothing to dig around for, no story to write. But a waitress and university student? Now, that is something to write about; how you met her, if she was a fan, if she's with you for the fame... And then, they will start digging around her past and God knows what they might find. But I won't even go there. What happens when her parents' death becomes known and she sees some crazy-fan comment on the Internet about how much she deserved that because she took you away from her?", Luke stopped.

"No human being would ever do that", Tom protested.

"Tom, you've chosen not to deal with what they say about you and your people. But this is my job and trust me when I tell you that they'll rip her to peaces if they don't like her", Luke explained.

"God! I'm an idiot, aren't I?", Tom said, finally realising how hard this could be for her, especially now.

"I'm afraid you are, my friend!", Luke smiled compassionately at the way Tom was worrying about this. "Besides, until this thing between you two works out, it's better to keep it low. You don't know her yet. Know each other first and then you let the rest of the world know about you, too. You might be used to this, but she's not. And I can't honestly promise you that there won't be a picture of you two having dinner together or holding hands or kissing, rising speculations on who the knew girlfriend of Tom Hiddleston is". Tom nodded is response. He knew Luke was right. He felt like such a tit for calling her paranoid, managing to ruin their lovely morning. He felt his phone buzzing inside his pocket and took it out.

"It's Jessica!", he looked at Luke who nodded his head to signal it was alright to answer it. "Excuse me", Tom said and walked outside, at a fast pace. "Hey!", he answered the call in a warm tone.

"I'm sorry...", Jessica said in a breaking voice.

"No, no, no! Please, sweetheart! Please, don't cry! I'm the one who should apologize to you. I'm so, so sorry for what I said. You were completely right. Do you forgive me?", Tom felt his heart beating faster. The effect she had on him was ridiculous.

"Of course I do! I don't think I can stay mad at you even if I wanted to", she replied and he laughed. "Do you forgive me?".

"There's nothing to forgive, sweetheart". Tom smiled when she told him she should have stayed with him and face the problem. "Hey, one step at a time. Don't push yourself too much. I understand...".

"Listen, I...I don't have any classes tomorrow and Dave said he could manage on his own on a Thursday night. Care to watch a movie with me tonight?", Jessica asked. "If you don't have any other plans, that is".

"Bless that guy! I'd love to watch a movie with you tonight, but only if we do it at my place, it involves me cooking for you and you looking dashing as ever", Tom suggested, licking his lips at the thought of her.

"Are you trying to spoil me, Hiddleston?".

"He he! I might be... So?", Tom's voice was pleading.

"Alright! But, you are most certainly not getting any tonight!", Jessica giggled.

"And I'm most certainly not expecting to. I know you wouldn't make it easy for me. But I can't promise you I won't try!", he was smiling like a schoolboy. He was feeling excited. Jessica laughed. "I have to go now. I'll text you the address".

"Okay! I'll see you tonight. Bye!".

"Goodbye, sweetheart". Tom put his phone back in his pocket and returned to the table.

"Judging by your smile, I'd say that went pretty well", Luke grinned.

"I have a date with her tonight, my place", Tom smiled wider than before. The two men stayed for a little longer to finish their lunch and talk some business. Luke noticed how Tom's spirit had changed after Jessica's call. And it was that moment that made him realise how fast his friend was falling in love with her. They soon said their goodbyes and each went his way. When Tom got home, he sent Jessica a message to give her his address and let her know that he would be expecting her at 20:30. Jessica was quick to respond. She sent him a joint image of two dresses with a caption writing _Which one?_. The first dress was black and long with a deep V-neck. The second was blue, short and with buttons on the chest. Tom swallowed hard when he saw the picture.

 _Definitely the black one!_ _Do I get to choose what you're wearing under the dress, too? ;) - Tom._

_Someone's being too forward! - Jessica._

_Well...Someone's proving incredibly hard to resist to! - Tom._

Tom took a long bath to help him cool off. He sat in the tub, which he had filled with hot water, feeling all his muscles relax at once, and he closed his eyes. He couldn't keep the image out of his head; her in that beautiful dress backed against his office desk and him kissing her cleavage. His eyes jolted open and he shook his head. So much for relaxing! He got out of the bathtub and put a towel around his hips. He opened his wardrobe, took a black three-piece suit out and left it on his bed. He wore his underwear, his pajama bottoms and a T-shirt and headed to the kitchen, his hair still damp. He tied his blue apron around his neck and lower back and started cooking. He put the salad in the fridge as soon as he had it ready and started on the chicken and linguini. He looked at his watch. It was about time he started getting ready. He was putting the finishing touches on the food when the bell rang. He walked to the door, took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. His eyes widened when he saw Jessica in her black dress, her hair in a relaxed bun exposing her neck, her lips scarlet.

"Hello, gorgeous!", she smiled. He motioned for her to walk inside and closed the door once she did. Jessica turned around to face him and all he did was walk towards the kitchen, not saying a word. "Why are you not talking to me?", she laughed. He looked at her with a piercing gaze and walked close to her. He put his hand on her lower back and pulled her closer to him, the other hand slowly brushing on her side.

"This dress is doing things to me...", he whispered looking at her cleavage.

"Mmmm...I can tell", she grinned. Tom looked at her with a serious face. He put his hand on the back of her neck and brought her closer to his face until their lips touched. He didn't wait. He couldn't. He kissed her hungrily over and over again. His mind was trying to regain control over his body and once it did, he pulled away, leaving her breathless and wanting more.

 


	14. The ice cream torture

"Have you decided on a movie?", Jessica called out from the spacious living room for Tom to hear, while exploring the place.

"I'm sorry, darling! What was that?", Tom emerged from the kitchen holding a fork with a small piece of chicken pinned on it. He blew it a couple of times, moving closer to her. He brought the fork to her mouth and held it there until she took the chicken inside. Jessica closed her eyes and moaned at the taste. "How is it?", Tom tried to keep his cool at her erotic reaction.

"Mmmm...", she swallowed and smiled. "Better than sex!", she winked at him.

"Better than sex in general or better than sex with me?", Tom smiled anxiously.

"I don't remember how sex with you is! It's been too long", Jessica grinned, already knowing what his answer would be.

"Would you like me to remind you?", he held her closer, putting his hand on her back.

"So predictable!", she turned away from his relaxed grip and sat on the couch, crossing her legs.

"Are you wearing red pumps? God, why are you torturing me like this?", he threw his head back. Jessica laughed.

"Oh, you should see what I've matched them with!", she looked at him with a serious face, biting her lower lip.

"Let me get this straight", Tom took a deep breath, "You show up to my house looking like this and you don't want to have sex with me. What are you wearing when you do?", he ran his hand over his face.

"First of all, I never said I don't want to have sex with you. I just won't. And to answer your question; You have no idea how much better I can do!", she emphasized on her last sentence. "Besides, you were the one who told me to dress up to watch a stupid movie. So...What are we watching?".

"I...um...", Tom felt like he had lost his ability to speak. He closed his eyes and rubbed his neck in an attempt to cool himself off. "I was thinking you should choose one of your liking", he showed her to his DVD collection.

"Do you have any of yours here?", Jessica turned to him.

"I thought you said you knew who I was before we met", Tom said confused.

"I did! I told you, I saw you in Coriolanus", she was running her fingers on his DVDs, trying to find something she liked.

"But you have never watched any of my movies?", he stood behind her, but she didn't turn around.

"I have! I've seen _War Horse_. But not for you! Sorry, mate! More of a Cumberbatch fan", she teased. Tom came closer and put his palms on the shelves, one at each side of her head, his crotch touching her lower back. Jessica gasped at the sudden contact. He started kissing her neck, moving up until his lips found her ear lobe. He opened his mouth and started biting it. She touched a lower shelf with her fingers and closed her eyes. She was trying her best not to moan, pressing her lips together, swallowing hard.

"Now...What do we do to change that?", he whispered in her ear.

"Oh, I think it's already changed", she turned around and looked at him. Tom pinned her on the shelves in a second and started kissing her lips, claiming them hungrily. Then, he attacked her collarbone and her neck. Jessica's breath became rugged.

"Let me hear you, darling. Come on!", he made his way down her cleavage. She felt his fingers lightly brushing on the exposed skin between her breasts, his lips only inches higher. She couldn't hold back anymore. A loud moan left her mouth and Tom grinned at the sound. "That's it, sweetheart!".

"Tom...Oh, God! Tom, I think you should stop", Jessica tried hard to form a sentence, cursing herself for the words that had just left her mouth. But she knew it was the right thing to do, no matter how much she was wishing he would take her then and there. Tom immediately pulled back.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done this...", he blushed.

"It's alright! It's hard for me, too, you know!", she smiled at him, rearranging her dress.

"What is?", Tom asked.

"What? You're not the only one sexually frustrated in here right now, Hiddleston!", she gave him a serious look. "So...are we going to eat or what?".

"Oh, my God! Yes, of course. Come on!", Tom took her by the hand and led her to the table. He pulled the chair for her to sit. "Give me two minutes, sweetheart", he excused himself and disappeared into the kitchen. He was soon back with the salad and champagne. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left again, only to come back a little later with two plates filled with food. He put one in front of her and one to his side of the table and sat across her.

"Oh, linguine! It smells delicious!", she said inhaling the smell of the food.

While eating, they discussed Tom's new film and his trip to L.A. Jessica told him about her exams and the new semester. They talked about their families and childhood and she got very emotional when she remembered her parents. Tom apologized to her for bringing up the subject. It was only natural that she would still be sensitive about it. They told each other about their time apart. They both knew they had to do it in order to move on. Jessica admitted that it was the first time she was having a proper meal ever since they had slept together and reassured him that she had herself to blame when he apologized to her.

"But I'm glad to see that you got some of your appetite back", he said enthusiastically. He found her as beautiful as the first day he met her, but he wanted her to be healthy. He wouldn't bare it if anything bad happened to her.

"I did! But I think I've had enough, now. I feel full!", she smiled and put the fork down.

"But, that's not even half of it...", Tom pouted.

"Baby steps", she said gently.

"Do you still have room for dessert?", Tom took their plates from their tables. "Before you decline, I should tell you that by dessert I mean ice cream on a cone, topped with sprinkles... And I know it probably sounds stupid, but I really didn't have time to make dessert", he confessed, blushing.

"I love ice cream!", Jessica clapped her hands like a child. Tom smiled, gave her a peck on the lips and went to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he returned with two ice cream cones on a plate and handed one to Jessica who was now sitting on the couch. She started licking it, Tom watching her all along. That, he hadn't thought through.

"Okay, that's it! No more ice cream for you! You're going to be the death of me", he took the cone from her hand and tossed it along with his in the plate he had left on the table. Jessica laughed hard. She'd had enough anyway, so she didn't mind. Tom kissed her passionately.

"Can we please watch _The Hollow Crown_?", Jessica asked as soon as she caught her breath, "I can't even believe I missed this!".

"We can if that's what you want", Tom blushed. It always felt weird to watch his own projects. He sat on the couch next to her and held her close to him. She rested her head against his chest, her fingers lightly brushing on his arm. She was absorbed in the show, really enjoying it. He was watching her, studying her every reaction, every face she made. He could have sex with her all night long, but he wouldn't trade this moment with anything.

 


	15. Falling harder

Jessica ran to the door when she heard the bell ringing. Tom had sent her a text to let her know that he had finished shooting earlier than expected and he was on his way to her place. They hadn't seen each other for a week. He would be too tired to go to the pub when he left the set and she would usually finish work too late to go to his place. She understood, but that wasn't enough to keep her from missing him terribly. It had already been a month since they started seeing each other again and things were going great between them. If only she could have some extra time with him. She opened the door, a huge smile on her face, and pulled him inside by his tie. Tom chuckled and closed the door, never breaking the eye contact. She gently pushed him to the door and kissed him.

"Mmm...I could get used to that", he smiled, brushing his hand on her cheek.

"To what?", she asked curiously, both hands on his chest.

"Coming home and getting such a lovely welcome from my even more lovely girlfriend", he kissed her again, this time a quick peck on her lips. Jessica remained silent and lowered her gaze to the floor. "Too soon?", he worried.

"Maybe, a bit", Jessica smiled, "but I don't mind". She took his hand and led him to the couch. "I guess I just never thought about it".

"And what if I told you that I think about it every time that I don't find you next to me in my bed and I miss you?", he held both of her hands in his.

"I'd say", Jessica withdrew her hands and smiled mischievously. She stood up, in front of him. Tom opened his legs so that she could stand closer. She put on knee against his crotch, rubbing it gently, and leaned closer, one hand next to his face, her lips next to his ear, "that there are other things we need to attend to, before moving in together". Tom threw his head back.

"If this is one more of your abysmal teasing games, I swear to God, I -".

"You what, Thomas? What are you going to do, hm?", she sat on his lap, facing him, each knee next to each of his outer thighs.

"Don't do this to me", he whispered, his eyes stuck on her lips as she licked them. "I can't take this any longer. As if just looking at you does not make it hard enough for me not to want to pin you against this couch and take you right now". His voice was husky, his look predatory, devouring her.

"Someone's growing bolder", Jessica teased.

"Oh, I'm growing, alright! But _bolder_ is not the word I'd use", Tom's cheeks were flushed. This woman could bring him out of line.

"Would you like to take a shower with me?", Jessica suggested.

"You mean, you and I, naked? Oh, God! You do want me dead after all, don't you?", Tom sighed.

"Either you're too slow or I've been teasing you for so long that it's hard for you to believe that I'm actually telling you that tonight is your lucky night", she winked.

"In that case", Tom licked his lips, "you'll need that shower after I'm done with you, sweetheart". He attacked her lips, his tongue fighting against hers. His hands moved from his sides to her hips. He grabbed them to bring her body closer to his body, longing for the friction. Jessica grinned. He knew she could feel the bulge in his pants growing. She started unbuttoning his shirt and tossed it off of his shoulders and to the ground, admiring his chiseled chest. Sure, she had seen his bare torso before, but she felt the same excitement every time. Tom took her T-shirt off and his eyes widened. "Fuck! Are you wearing a corset?", he growled. Jessica shook her head negatively. He grabbed her by her thighs and laid her on the couch. He sat on his knees, between her legs. He wanted to see what was underneath her skirt and he removed it from her body, gasping when he realised that she was wearing a black, lace bodysuit, leaving most of her body exposed. "Oh, God. This is so staying on!", he exclaimed and started kissing her neck, her collarbone, her cleavage. He exposed one breast with his fingers and sucked it and licked it, earning sweet moans from her.

"I'm glad you like it. Oh, Tom!", she gasped.

"Best. Thing. I've ever. Seen you. Wear", he said in between kisses, from her collarbone up to her lips. He claimed them once again, hungrily. His hands travelled the opposite direction until they reached her womanhood. He rubbed his fingers gently above her bodysuit and she left a hardly audible moan. "Louder, sweetheart", he whispered. He could feel his pants tighter against his erection. She must have figured, for her hands reached for them and undid the button and the zipper. Tom broke the kiss to free himself from the remaining clothes.

"Let me be on top. You must be exhausted", Jessica sat up on the couch and took his hand to lead him next to her. Next thing she knew, she was on top of him, rubbing her core against his hard cock. She pushed the lower part of her lingerie aside in order to feel him properly. Tom gasped at the wet feeling against his flesh.

"So wet for me already...", he bit his lower lip. He tried to reach for his pants, but Jessica, having realised what he wanted, grabbed his wrist and led his hand to her waist.

"I'm on the pill", she looked at him, "and I trust you".

"Raise your hips a bit for me, love", he kissed her neck and she complied. He took his cock in his hand and led her down on it by her waist. That intimate moment of her having him fully inside her, looking at him with an intense gaze, was worth all the waiting. Their first time had felt great. But this...this was amazing, unlike anything any of them had ever felt before. He threw his head back when he felt her moving up and down his shaft oh-so-slowly.

"Tom", she breathed heavily, her eyes closed.

"I'm right here, baby. Oh, God, you're fantastic!", he groaned. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted her harder, faster. "I think you've had your fun, sweetheart. Now it's my turn", his eyes turned black from lust. He grabbed her hips and pinned her back against the couch, quickly burying his glistening cock fully inside her in one swift thrust. She cried out loudly. He started thrusting harder. He couldn't control himself any longer. His lips were on her chest, one hand cupping one breast, the other stroking her hair.

"Oh, Tom, please, please, don't stop", Jessica moaned close to his face.

"Fuck! I don't think I can last much longer. Come for me, baby", Tom was trying his best not to finish before she did. He sat up straight, on his knees, and pushed her legs closer to her chest, gaining better access. He slid his thumb on her clit and rubbed it, his cock thrusting faster in and out of her wet core.

"Tom, I...", she couldn't speak anymore, as her body started trembling underneath him. She could hear him calling her name and cursing, and immediately knew he was close, after having sent her to utter bliss.

"Jess...Christ!", was all Tom managed to say before he spilled his cum into her. He leaned over her and kissed her lips, brushing some hair off of her face. "You're the most exquisite thing I've ever laid my hands on". Jessica smiled and kissed him again.

"How about that shower now?", she pushed him until they were separated and in a sitting position.

"You'll have to give me a few minutes, sweetheart", he panted. "I don't think my legs can carry me to the bathroom right now", he smiled and kissed her knuckle. "And I intend on fully exploring this beautiful body of yours while we're at it. I haven't seen you naked in such a long time".

"You're insatiable, Hiddleston", Jessica laughed.

"Only when it comes to you, love", Tom smiled warmly. "And here I thought I couldn't fall any harder for you..."


	16. I need more

Tom gave Jessica a good fright when he whistled at her, out of the blue. She thought he was asleep, while she had bended over a pile of books that were lying on the ground, trying to find one she needed for an assignment.

"You, my beautiful girl, look exquisite in those knee socks and my shirt", he smiled at her. "I'm sorry for scaring you. Come back to bed". Jessica smiled and jumped back to bed, next to him.

"Hi", she gave him a quick kiss.

"Hello, sweetheart", he responded with a demanding one. "What time's your study group, nerd?", Tom laughed.

"Thomas!", Jessica smacked his shoulder. "I'm not a nerd", she pouted. "It's in three hours...".

"So, we have plenty of time to...", he paused mid-sentence and started kissing her neck.

"No, we don't", she tried to pull away, but he was holding her firmly in his arms. He kept on kissing her, his hand caressing her breasts. "Thomas, stop...", she said in a whisper.

"You don't mean that, sweetheart", he sealed her lips with his own.

"Yes, I do. You, mister, have no limits. Remember last night? I don't even know what time it was when you finally let me sleep", she gasped at the feeling of his lips and hands on her body.

"Oh, come on! Like you didn't enjoy it", he raised his eyebrow, a smirk on his face. He started tickling in her sides and she burst out laughing.

"No, no, no. Tom, please, stop. Stop tickling me, baby!", Jessica tried to breathe. Tom stopped and looked at her, her face flushed.

"Say that again", he whispered in her ear, his voice excited.

"What? Baby?", she grinned.

"Yes. Say it again", his lips commenced their journey to her breasts, while he was unbuttoning his shirt off of her body.

"Don't flatter yourself, Hiddleston. I only said it to save myself", she said, trying not to show the effect his ministrations had on her.

"Then, let's see if you'll say it while trying to save yourself when I make you come over and over again", he said in a husky voice and ripped the shirt off her body, kissing her collarbone. His head moved all the way down, until he was between her thighs. He pulled her knickers to the side and licked her clit with the tip of his tongue, earning a loud moan from her. He chuckled and continued, adding one long finger to her torture. He pushed it inside her slit, thrusting it in and out, harder and faster each time. Her moans and slow, uneven breaths only made him want to give her more pleasure. He could feel himself getting harder by the minute, but he needed to wait. She started trembling and arched her back from the mattress as she came on his fingers, calling his name. It drove him out of his mind when she did, but that wasn't what he wanted, so he kept going, adding a second finger in her extremely wet cunt, still licking her clit with his talented tongue.

"Tom, please...", she gasped. She felt like her mind was gone and she was about to lose it again. Her second orgasm didn't take long to hit her. Her cunt started clenching around his fingers and he tasted her again and again. "I need you to...Ah!".

"All you have to do is call me that again", Tom whispered in her ear, now lying on his side, next to her, his fingers still thrusting inside her. "Say it and I will fuck you exactly the way you like it, sweetheart". He pushed a third finger inside her, but the sensation was still not the same as having his cock. He picked up the pace, his other hand stroking her hair gently, his lips kissing her cheek and neck. He could feel her coming again, panting beside him and right then he knew that this was more of a torture for him than it was for her. Oh, how he loved the way she looked when she came, the sounds she made, her parted lips.

"Oh, baby...I need more than this. I need you. I can't take it anymore. Please...", she begged him and looked at him with sparkling eyes. He smiled his usual warm smile and kissed her gently.

"I'm so sorry, darling...You should have a taste, though. See why I can't get enough of you", he smirked, bringing his fingers to her mouth. She steadied his hand with both of hers and licked his fingers clean, looking at him with lustful eyes. Tom's mouth dropped. He took her hand and led it to his painful erection. Jessica slipped her fingers into his underwear and wrapped them around his hard cock, stroking it slowly. He helped her, lowering the cloth, giving her better access. "How can you be so bloody talented with your hand?", he moaned and threw his head back. She chuckled and kept going faster, holding him tighter in her palm. "God! I have to have you... **Now**!", he growled and jumped over her. Without further ado, he thrust inside her and started pounding like an animal.

"Aaaah...Tom, faster...harder. Please, baby", she was practically screaming his name over and over again. They had spent the previous night having sex continuously, but this was the first time he had brought her to that state of bliss. He pulled out of her and turned her around in one swift move. He grabbed her hips and brought her to her knees. He quickly positioned the tip of his cock on her slit and pushed his pelvis forward, until he was fully inside, picking up the speed almost immediately. And then he lost all control, taking her like this.

"Is this what you want, love?", he pressed his fingers on her hips and she cried out loudly.

"Yes, yes..Tooom! Don't stop, baby", she felt like she was losing her voice from all the screaming. Tom was always so sweet, on and off bed, the perfect gentleman. Seeing him lose control because of her was a huge turn on.

"You" ***thrust*** "have" ***thrust*** "no idea" ***thrust*** "how much" ***thrust*** "I like it" ***thrust*** "that you like it" ***thrust*** "rough", he was panting, his cock twitching inside her, signaling that he was close. "Fuck, Jess, you're something else, love". Hearing her last moan as she came on his cock was the last straw. "Fuuuuck! I'm coming...", he threw his head back and emptied himself inside her. He fell on her back, sweat all over him, and kissed her body for a few seconds. He then moved out of her and lied on his back, dragging her with him, her head on his chest.

"You realise I'm going to be late because of you, right?", she said smiling.

"Mmmm...I'm really sorry about that, but I honestly don't care. In fact, I say, if you are to be late, might as well not go at all. Stay with me. It's Sunday", he grinned, his eyes closed the whole time.

"In your dreams, Hiddleston", she looked up at his face and he chuckled. "Besides, I can't miss my study group. I'm a nerd...", she pouted.

"It was a joke!", he laughed and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'm off to shower. Do **not** come anywhere near me", she warned him, raising her finger. He tried to bite it, but she quickly pulled it away and got up from the bed.

"Jess", he called out to her and she turned around at the door, "I was thinking...What would you say if I invited Ben and Sophie to have dinner with us next week? It's about time you met some of my friend, if you're up to it, of course".

"Um...Yeah, sure", she smiled nervously. Tom sat up on the bed.

"What is it, love?", he looked at her warmly.

"I...What if I don't have anything in common with them? What if they don't like me? God, they're your friends. They must hate me for putting you through hell before", she lowered her gaze. Tom walked close to her and hugged her, kissing her forehead. He put his finger under her chin and lifted her head to look at her.

"Darling, the past is in the past. They know the whole story and they understand completely. Hell! Sophie even said that she would have reacted the same way if she were in your shoes. And they're gonna love you, like...", Tom stopped. It was too soon. He knew it was and he didn't want to scare her. He panicked for a second, but if Jessica had realised what he was about to say, she didn't show. "Off you go, sweetheart. I'll make the arrangements while you're showering".

 


	17. The dinner

"Tom, how do I look?", Jessica emerged from his bedroom. She had gotten to his house after her morning lecture and had brought clothes to change there. She was standing in front of the bathroom where Tom was washing his face, after having shaved. She was in an ecru silk-crepe blazer playsuit and a pair of black suede over-the-knee boots with mid heel. Tom dried his face with a towel and turned his head to look at her, his mouth dropping at the sight of her. "Am I too overdressed?", she worried at the way he was looking at her.

"Beautiful...", he whispered, making it impossible for her to hear him.

"What?", she asked.

"You look beautiful. I...God! I'm actually t-trying to take my eyes off of you a-and I c-can't", he stuttered, stepping closer to her. "You are the sexiest woman I know. Can we cancel it?", he hugged her, nuzzling her neck.

"Thomas, stop!", she laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "You need to get dressed, baby. They'll be here any minute now", she turned on her heel and walked to the bedroom to put the last touches on her appearance. When she reached the door, she turned around and found Tom leaning against the wall, looking at her. "And stop staring", she blushed and disappeared into the room. He followed almost right behind her, as if he was mesmerized and couldn't lose sight of her. She smiled at him through the mirror as she was doing her hair. He took off his T-shirt and put on a white dress shirt. As he was buttoning up, he noticed her gaze at him and smirked.

"What is it, sweetheart?", he asked in a low voice, the one that would always make her a little wetter than she should be when about to have people around.

"I...", she sighed and got up. She walked close to him and buttoned the rest of his shirt. "You are a very handsome man, Hiddleston", she kissed him. He grabbed her hips and pulled her body closer to his, deepening the kiss. She moaned into his mouth and right when he was about to throw her to his bed, ready to take her right then without caring about guests and dinner, the bell rang.

"Damn it", he said quietly and stepped back. "Sweetheart, can you get this, please? I have to change my pants and put on my shoes".

"I-I can't do that, Tom", Jessica said nervously, turning white.

"Darling, it's alright. I'll be with you in a moment", he reassured her and gave her a light push on her back. She reached the door and swallowed hard before opening it.

"Hello, there", Benedict greeted her cheerfully in his baritone voice.

"Um...hello", Jessica replied, smiling shyly, and opened the door wider for them to step inside.

"Hi. I'm Sophie", she extended her hand and Jessica returned the gesture, stating her name. "I love your playsuit, dear. I hope I can fit in such clothes again someday. We brought you some wine", she gave Jessica the bottle and she thanked her in exchange, taking it into her hands.

"And you look great. I wouldn't be able to tell you're pregnant if it weren't for your belly", she smiled. "Would you, guys, like something to drink before dinner?".

"I'm not allowed any alcohol, so some juice would be great", Sophie answered and Jessica nodded, turning to Benedict.

"Same for me", he ran his fingers protectively over his wife's belly, "even though I'm not prohibited from drinking. Where's that wanker?".

"I heard you!", Tom shouted, walking into the living room. Ηe bended down to give Sophie a peck on the cheek.

"That's why I said it", Benedict scoffed and stood up to greet his friend. The two men shook hands and patted on each other's shoulders.

Jessica was in the kitchen, pouring the drinks. She carefully put the glassed on the tray, smiling at the small chat coming from next room, where Tom and Benedict were teasing each other. She brought the drinks and put the tray on the table, close to the couple.

"Tom, whiskey?", she turned to her boyfriend. He got up from his seat and put his hand on the small of her back, urging her to sit.

"I'll do it, sweetheart", he kissed her knuckle and walked to the other side of the room. "Want some?".

"Yes, thank you", she smiled and took a seat at an unoccupied couch across the guests.

"So, Jessica....I heard you are a fan of me", Benedict smirked.

"Thomas!", she called out and blushed, even harder when she heard him laugh hard.

"Oh, no worries, darling. I'm glad I helped you two lovebirds get down and dirty", he winked at her and Sophie smacked him on his shoulder.

"There you go, love", Tom handed her a glass, smiling gently, and she mouthed a thank you to him. He sat next to her, glass on one hand, the other behind her head.

"Um...How was the wedding?", Jessica asked in an attempt to make small talk - and change the subject of her hot adventures with Tom caused by her joke of being more of Benedict Cumberbatch fan.

"Dreamy", Sophie answered, smiling at her and then at her husband.

"Yeah.Tom was a bit...off, though", Benedict looked at his friend.

"I traveled all the way from L.A. to be there on the most important day of you life, mate. What did you expect?".

"Oh, really? So, the beauty next to you had nothing to do with your misery, then?", Benedict raised his eyebrow.

"Ben!", Tom and Sophie exclaimed angrily at the same time.

"Excuse me...", Jessica stood up hurriedly and disappeared down the hall and into the bedroom.

""I overdid it, didn't I?", Benedict asked apologetically.

"Oh, God...", Tom closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Excuse me for a moment", he started walking to his room, listening to Sophie lecturing Benedict on how insensitive he had been to Jessica.

"Sweetheart?", Tom opened the door slowly. He found his beauty sitting on the bed, her hands covering her face as her tears were coming down her eyes. He sat next to her and brought her head to his chest. "Don't cry, baby. He didn't mean ill".

"He hates me because I made you miserable at his wedding...", she cried harder when the words left her mouth.

"Shhh...That's not true, my darling girl. Please...", he stroked her hair, trying to calm her down. There was a light knock on the door. "Hello?". Benedict's face came in view when the door opened. Jessica quickly wiped her tears and sat straight.

"Can I come in?". Tom nodded and Benedict lowered himself in front of Jessica who was looking at the floor. "Tom, can you give us a moment, please?".

"Sure. I'll go set the table". He kissed her head and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Jessica...I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, darling. I really am. It was meant to be a joke, but I overdid it. I'm terribly sorry", he looked at her and she raised her gaze at him.

"I'm sorry if I caused any distress on your special day", she said in a sad voice.

"I surely didn't enjoy seeing him like this, but you caused no such thing, darling", he smiled genuinely.

"I never meant to hurt him", she mumbled. "I love him". Benedict smiled at her confession. Tom had told him how he had almost blurted it out to her the other morning and how unsure he was if such deep feelings were mutual.

"Oh, darling...", he hugged her, "I'm so, so sorry for what I said. Do you forgive me?", he looked at her warmly and she nodded, smiling gently. Benedict stood on his feet and offered her his hand. "Shall we?". Jessica took it to get up and walked ahead of him and towards the door.

"Jessica?", he called and she turned around to look at him. "Let him know. The poor guy's melting at the thought that you might do".


	18. You're mine

"Thomas, would you mind if I called it a night and went home?", Jessica whispered in his ear when she found the chance, not wanting to interrupt the conversation between him and Benedict. Tom pouted.

"Why would you want to leave, darling?", Tom asked fairly loudly, causing Benedict and Sophie to look at each other.

"Should we...?", Sophie gestured at the door with her index finger.

"Oh, no, no, no. Please", Jessica rushed to answer. "It's just that I have an early morning lecture tomorrow, than loads of studying to do and go to work at night. I really need to get some sleep", she mostly addressed her boyfriend.

"Then, we should go and let you two get some sleep. We wouldn't want you to sleep separately because of us", Benedict said in a quite amused tone.

"Ben, I'm a guest, too. I'm just leaving earlier than you, guys. It's okay", Jessica smiled.

"Sweetheart, it's too late to let you go all by yourself. There's no way", Tom stated firmly.

"Jess", Benedict called and she turned her eyes to him, "who cooked dinner?".

"We...um....we did it together", she answered, furrowing her brow at the question.

"Who opened the door to us?".

"Uuuh...I did?", she looked with a questioning gaze.

"Who offered us a drink?".

"I did...".

"Who served dinner?".

"Both Tom and I...".

"Not a guest, then", Benedict concluded and everyone laughed. "And...and", he raised his voice to be heard over the continuous laughter, "I'm pretty sure Tom doesn't see you as one. I mean, come on! The Tom I know probably has already thought how we could do this every time we're both in town and how even better this would get once you two had a child of your own to play with our daughter". Sophie laughed yet again at her husband's remarks, nodding in agreement. Tom left a shy _ehehe_ and Jessica blushed.

"Wait... Daughter? Are you...?", Tom asked in disbelief, his eyes wide.

"Yes, Thomas, my dear. We're having a daughter", Sophie said and brushed her hand gently over Benedict's, who looked at her and smiled.

"Congratulations!", Tom's voice came in unison with Jessica's.

"Thank you", Sophie smiled and turned to her husband. "You tell him, darling".

"Right. Tom, my dear friend, we would be honoured if you were to become our daughter's godfather", Benedict smiled warmly. Tom looked at him, then at Sophie, then back at Benedict.

"Are you serious?", Tom could barely speak. When the couple nodded, he stood up and hugged them both. "God! Thank you so much for the honour", he smiled widely and excitedly.

"Okay. So, now that the big news are out, I think we should go", Sophie said. Jessica was about to protest all over again, but Benedict didn't let her.

"Darling, babies can't be made if their parents sleep in different beds", he winked at her and helped his wife up. Jessica sighed.

"He's only joking, sweetheart", Tom reassured her and she smiled at him. They both stood by the door until they lost sight of the couple and then closed it, finally being left alone.

"I feel like I've forced them out...", she sighed as he held her hand, leading her to the bedroom. "Tom, we need to clean the table and do the dishes", she protested when he sat her on the bed and started kissing her bare shoulders.

"Tomorrow...I'll do it tomorrow", he said in between kisses. She moaned when he nuzzled her neck, feeling his hot breath on the sensitive spot. "Now, I need you, my beautiful girl", he whispered and she shivered at his husky voice. "It was so hard for me to keep my eyes off of you all night". He kissed her lips gently and pushed her down on the bed with his hands until she was completely lying on her back. He took off his shoes and shocks and hovered over her, his palms brushing up and down her thigh, as he was kissing her. He sat on his knees and took her long leg in his hands, slowly unzipping her boot and taking it off. He did the same to her other leg, all this time looking at her. Jessica smiled shyly and looked away. "Look at me, sweetheart", he said in a whisper, his face now right in front of hers. "I want to tell you something".

"What is it, baby?", she asked confused. It wasn't like him to open a conversation when they were about to have sex.

"I...I think...God, I hope it's not too early to say this", he took a deep breath and opened his mouth to speak.

"I love you, too", Jessica smiled at him and for a moment they remained in a comfortable silence. Tom looked at her intensely and, as she was about to kiss him, he stopped her, turning his face to the left, his nose brushing her cheek.

"I need you to let me say what I want to tell you, my darling girl", he whispered in her ear and looked back at her, his hand stroking her hair on the top of her head. "I fell for you the moment I saw you. My body reacted to your presence in a way it had never done before. I felt powerless, like you had consumed all of me without doing anything, with just standing there. When we had that small conversation outside the pub, I somehow knew that you were meant for me. And I couldn't put my mind to rest when I lost you. I wouldn't until you were by my side, night and day. I love you, Jessica", he kissed her softly, yet passionately, wrapping his arms around her body.

"Say it again", she smiled.

"I love you. I love you. God! I love you so much", he kissed her again and again until she was moaning in his mouth. They undressed each other slowly until they were both completely naked. Tom held her in his arms tightly as if his life depended on it. He entered her in a way he had never done before, a way so intimate, his eyes never leaving hers. And she gasped for air.

"Oh, baby...", her voice was low and full of lust. He took a moment to look at her and then started moving slowly, expertly, in and out, kissing her mouth, her neck, her eyes, his hands all over her, caressing her body lovingly.

"Can I go on like this, sweetheart?", he asked for her permission and all she could do was nod. The slow pace that he maintained throughout their love-making brought her to heaven. None of them said anything more. The only sounds were those of their moans and wet kisses. They reached their climax together, looking into each other's eyes, grateful for the moment they had just shared, unlike anything they had done before.

"I love you, Thomas", she said as soon as she caught her breath and he pulled her into his arms and kissed her temple.

"Get some sleep, my love".

"What will you do?", she looked at him.

"I'll hold you in my arms and look at you and think of how lucky a man I am to have you here with me", he said with sparkling eyes . "Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you", he kissed her.

"Goodnight, handsome", she smiled, set the alarm clock and rested her head on his chest. She quickly dazed off.

Tom slowly put her head on the pillow and her hands on the mattress and got out of bed when he heard his phone buzzing in his trousers. He put on his underwear, took the small device in his hand and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. _Luke? At this hour?_ , he thought.

"What's up, mate? Is everything alright?", he asked worriedly. "No, no. I was awake....What? Luke, I wasn't supposed to leave until next month", he rubbed his hand over his neck. "Yes, I understand...Yes, Luke. I'll start packing in the morning", he sighed. "Thanks, mate. Goodnight". Tom tossed his phone to the table and sat on the couch, burying his face in his hands. He hadn't found the courage to tell her that he would leave in a month for almost a year. _How am I supposed to tell her I'm leaving in two days?_


	19. Sounds like a plan

Jessica woke up at the sound of the alarm clock. She opened her eyes with a groan, frowning after not finding Tom next to her. She turned the alarm off and got up. She put on her underwear and a black jumper of his, inhaling his scent. She opened the door and walked down the hall.

"Tom?". She received no answer. The bathroom door was open, but he was not there. She got a glimpse of the kitchen, but he didn't seem to be there either. She turned to the dining room where everything was exactly as they had left it the previous night. She turned her head towards the living room and found Tom asleep on the couch. She walked close to him, a million reasons for him to be there crossing her mind....and none of them was good. She sat on the floor right next to him. She couldn't help but smile. He looked so calm and handsome when he was sleeping. _You don't even fit in that couch, my gentle giant_ , she thought and grinned. She kissed his hand, which had fallen to the floor, and rested it on his chest. He moved his head and slowly opened his eyes.

"Good morning, my love", he smiled and sat up. "Come here. Let me kiss you, darling". She obeyed, still worried that he hadn't slept in the same bed as her.

"Good morning, baby", she kissed him and looked at him. "Why did you sleep here, Thomas?".

"Luke called last night, after you fell asleep, and I didn't want to wake you, so I came here to talk to him...I guess I fell asleep myself. I'm sorry, sweetheart", he sighed.

"Tom...is everything alright, baby?", she looked at him.

"How much time do you have until you have to leave?", he asked. He couldn't wait any longer. He didn't want to tell her over the phone and they weren't supposed to meet again until the next day.

"I set the alarm earlier so that we could have some breakfast together. I have time. Let me make us some coffee and you tell me, yes?", she smiled gently even though her stomach was turned. He nodded and she went to the kitchen. As she was preparing their coffee and a little something for him to eat - she never had breakfast this early in the morning - the first thing that popped into her mind was that Luke had told him he should break up with her for some reason. She tried to calm herself down, taking big breaths as she exited the kitchen, holding a tray with breakfast. She left it on the table and sat back next to him. "Talk to me".

"Sweetheart", he began, taking her hands in his, "do you remember the movie I was telling you about? _Skull Island_?". Jessica nodded. He sighed and continued, barely looking at her, "I hadn't told you this, because I thought I still had some time to tell you. I was stupid and I should have prepared you....prepared myself, but I didn't and I'm sorry", he freaked out.

"Baby, calm down and tell me what it is", she held his hands tighter to reassure him it was okay.

"I was supposed to leave for the States in a month to start filming. Most of _The Night Manager_ would have been filmed and...and I was to be away for...five months...", he finally looked at her and she nodded for him to continue. "Well...you see...Luke called yesterday. The distribution company has pushed the release date to 2017, but the production company have already paid for everything and apparently there's some conflict between the two. The solution they came up with was to go back to the initial plan of filming and release the movie at the date the distribution company desires. I'm not leaving in a month...I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. I'll return at some point for a week to wrap things up with the TV show. Then, I'll go back again. When I'm done with _Kong_ , I'll have to travel for the promotion of _Crimson Peak_ , then  _High Rise_ , for which I already know I'll be here for another week, and then _I Saw The Light_ , for which I'll be mostly in America....", he sighed, looking at his lap. "God...Jess, it all adds up to eight months...I'll be away for eight fucking months".

"Is that it?", she asked in a calm voice.

"Y-yes", he looked at her, surprised at her reaction. "You aren't mad at me?".

"Why would I ever be mad?", she smiled warmly.

"Well...I don't know. Because I'm leaving for eight months and only coming back twice during that period?", he said worriedly.

"That makes me sad, baby. Not mad", she explained.

"But...I....I hadn't told you I would be gone at all, and now it's even worse. I'm off in two days", he said confused.

"Thomas, are you trying to find a reason for me to be mad at you?", she scoffed.

"No, of course not, my darling girl. I just...I didn't expect you to be so understanding...", he looked at her, tears welling up his eyes.

"Baby, I knew this was going to happen at some point, sooner or later", she wiped the tears that had gathered right under his eyes, "but I stayed with you, didn't I? Now, these are going to be the worst eight months I could possibly ask for, but I can't be angry at you, because you didn't know you were to leave so soon. You'll come back a few times, which are hardly enough, but still... And I'll come see you whenever I can if you want me to. We'll manage, handsome", she reassured him, not wanting him to see how badly it ached her heart.

" _If I want to_? Sweetheart, if it weren't for your studies, I would personally go to David, tell him you resigned and take you with me in a heartbeat", he smiled warmly at her and hugged her. "I love you so much", he whispered. "Thank you for making this a tiny bit easier".

"I love you too, Thomas", she looked at him and kissed him. As soon as her lips left his, she said, "Now, is there anything besides packing bags that you have to do before you go?".

"I'll have to meet with Luke, which I'll do tonight, and see my mother and sister at some point tomorrow to say goodbye", he answered. "I'll arrange it at an hour you are not available, so that I can see you the most I can. Probably during your tomorrow class".

"Screw my class. You're leaving. I'm not going today either. And I'll tell Dave to give me tomorrow night off. I can't take tonight as well at such sort notice", she smiled and he kissed her, cupping her cheeks.

"You must love me an awful much", he chuckled.

"Really? What makes you say that if I may ask?", she smirked.

"Because, my darling girl, in the almost four months I've known you, you've never abandoned your studies for me. Not once", he stroked her hair lovingly and poked her nose with his finger.

"So, here's what we're going to do. We put on some music, clean the mess of yesterday's dinner, spend the whole day together-"

"Are we having sex?", he interrupted her.

"Loads of it", she burst out laughing. "Then, I'm going to work and you're meeting with Luke-"

"And then I'll come pick you up and bring you here to sleep with me", he stopped her mid-sentence.

"Will you stop interrupting me, Hiddleston?", she pouted.

"You don't like my suggestion?", he raised his eyebrow.

"That's irrelevant. Behave". Tom laughed hard. "Tomorrow you spend the day with your family and then we can see each other some more at night. How does that sound?", she asked.

"I have a better idea about tomorrow", he stated confidently.

"Oh, do share, please", she mocked him and he chuckled.

"We will meet my family together, because I want to introduce my wonderful girlfriend to them and let them know how much I love her, and the night we will spend it in bed", he lowered his voice an octave and whispered in her ear, "and I'm fucking you hard to make up for the time I'll be away", he sucked her earlobe and Jessica moaned. "Actually, why don't I start that now?".


	20. I can't say goodbye

Tom was driving his car, singing to every song that was playing on the radio. Even though Jessica loved music, how he knew the lyrics to almost all of them never ceased to amaze her. She was silent and in deep thought, looking out of the window, trying her absolute best to keep calm. She had agreed to accompany him to lunch at his mother's house merely because she wanted to spend the most possible time with him on his last day in London before his departure. She was thrilled that he wanted her to meet two of the most important people in his life, but anxiety was getting the better of her.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?", he asked, looking at her tenderly, one hand on the wheel, the other on the gearstick. She turned her head towards him and he smiled warmly. "You look stunning, my love. I don't think I should be looking at you while driving. You're distracting". She blushed and looked down. "What's going on in this wonderful head of yours?".

"I'm just a bit...fidgety, I guess", she said in a low voice.

"Darling, we talked about this, didn't we? It's all going to be alright. Both my mum and sister are great. You'll see", he reassured her.

"I'm sure they are, but...they're your family, Thomas. Meeting them is nerve-breaking", she sighed.

"Jess, you'll win my mother over just by calling me _Thomas_. As for Emma, she's a very laid-back person. You'll have to be awful for her not to like you. And you most certainly aren't. Trust me on this. You're going to do fine", he gave her one last look before he parked the car in front of a big, white house with flowers in the front yard. "Come here. Let me give you a kiss, love", he leaned towards her, but she pulled away. Tom looked at her confused, furrowing his brows.

"What if she sees, Thomas?", she worried and he chuckled at her insecurity.

"I don't care", he pulled her by her wrist in a gentle yet decisive way and led her into a passionate kiss, which caused a throbbing between her legs. It still amazed her how he could kiss her every day and she would still feel a tingle of excitement through her body as if it were the first time. When he pulled away, she checked herself in the mirror to make sure she was not too flushed. Tom got out of the car and skipped to her side, opened the door and helped her out. While they were walking to the door, Tom's hand holding hers the whole time, questions were running through her mind; _Am I dressed inappropriately to meet my boyfriend's family? What if they don't like me? Will his mother think I'm good enough for him?_. Tom buzzed the bell and soon a white-haired woman with a gentle and sweet face opened the door, her smile widening the moment she saw her precious son. He let go of Jessica's hand and hugged his mother affectionately, Jessica standing awkwardly inches away.

"Hello, mum", he smiled back.

"Oh, my sweet, sweet boy. It's so good to see you", she said warmly. When she fell off his arms, she looked at Jessica who gave a shy smile. "Thomas, you never said she was so beautiful. Hello, dear", she hugged her and Jessica was taken aback for a moment. "Come in".

"So, mum, this is Jessica. Jess, this is my mother, Diana", he made the introductions.

"It's really nice to meet you, Ms. ....", she paused, not knowing what to call her. She knew Tom's parents were divorced ever since he was 13 years old, but he had never mentioned his mother's family name. She blushed at the awkwardness of her silence.

"Diana. Just call me Diana, dear", she smiled and offered them a seat. "Tea? You do drink tea, dear, don't you?", she looked at Jessica, who nodded at her question.

"Mum, would I ever fall for a girl who doesn't drink tea?", Tom joked and winked at his girlfriend.

"Oh, my dear boy, I can already name a dozen reasons why you would and I've barely spoken to her", Diana smiled and walked to the kitchen. Tom and Jessica looked at each other and when he mouthed an _I love you_ , she bit her lower lip and looked at the floor, still in awe that he did. They were actually doing this. She was actually in his mother's house and suddenly it all seemed so real. Tom took the opportunity of his mother's absence to slip his arms around her waist and bring her closer to his body to kiss her. She put both of her hands against his chest to stop him.

"Oh, come on, baby. I really want to kiss you", he insisted and brought his face closer to hers. She laughed gingerly, still trying to push him away in fear of his mother's comeback.

"Thomas!", she called out louder than she had intended. Her eyes widened and she gasped at the volume of her voice. He took the chance to bring his lips on hers and kiss her. _Sneaky little bastard_ , she thought and paid him a murderous look when he let go of her. He smirked and looked at her innocently.

"Emma's not here yet, mum?", he called out as if nothing had happened and Jessica shook her head at his serenity when her heart was pounding in her chest.

"She had some errands to run. She called earlier to tell me she would be coming late. But she should be here shortly", Diana answered as she laid the tray in the table and poured the tea.

The three of them drank their tea, chatting casually. Jessica's favourite moment was when Diana decided to embarrass her son to his girlfriend by telling her stories form his childhood. She couldn't stop laughing at him and every time Tom blushed and told his mother that it was about time she stopped making him look stupid and utterly ridiculous in front of Jessica, she would smile sincerely at him, feeling warmth flooding her heart, as if she loved him more and more. That sweet, cute, shy side of him was her favourite. It was her Thomas.

"I need to go to the bathroom", Tom excused himself and left the two women alone. Diana moved closer to Jessica and took her hands in her own.

"My dear, I want you to know that I am really sorry for your loss". Jessica smiled and mouthed a _thank you_. "It must be really hard for you that he's leaving for such a stretched period of time. I'm still not used to it and I've gone through this way too many times. But he loves you, my dear girl, and I'm sure he will do anything in his power to be with you the most he can. And I'm here for you. You're always welcome in this house, dear. It's the least I can do for the woman who has brought my son to this state of happiness".

"Thank you so much, Diana. Really. It means the world to me", Jessica tried not to cry at her kind words. "I love Thomas very much. And I'll do my absolute best to support him, because I know how important his work is to him", she smiled gently.

"So are you, my dear". Diana retreated her hands when she heard the bell and went to open the door.

"Hello, darling", she greeted her daughter who walked inside.

"Hello, mum", Emma kissed her cheek. "You must be Jessica. It's really nice to meet you. I'm Emma", she smiled.

"It's nice to meet you, too", Jessica stood up and shook her hand, just when Tom reappeared in the room.

"Emma, darling", he hugged his sister.

"Easily the most beautiful one you've ever brought", she whispered in his ear and he smiled.

"I've only brought one more", he mumbled.

"That's what I said", she tried to drown a laugh and so did he.

They all sat at the dining room table and had the delicious lunch Diana had prepared for them. Jessica soon started feeling more relaxed and less self-conscious around Tom's family, having a great time. As the conversation was going on, it was easy for her to see how Tom had turned out to be the amazing person he was. He had grown up, surrounded by so much love. Just like she had. She felt embarrassed when her eyes welled up while talking about her parents and her upbringing, but his hand on her knee and warm smiles reassured her that it was okay to be vulnerable around him and his beloved people. When the subject was changed to his departure, she tensed up. She had to try really hard not to cry hearing all over again how he would be away for so long, away from her, from her arms, her kisses, her bed. Tom realised and cut the conversation short, as delicately as he could. When they finished their food, they all helped Diana with the table and Tom excused himself and Jessica for having to leave. She could see the sadness in his mother's eyes, hating herself for stealing him away from her, but Diana reassured her that she was the one he wanted to spend his time with the most. Tom kissed his mother and sister goodbye and promised to call on a daily basis. Jessica hugged them both, thanking Diana for the wonderful meal and her hospitality. They were soon out of the door and on their way back home.

When they were at the comfort of his house, it was already evening. They spent their time making love after every little thing they did; fixing his bags, watching TV, having a shower. It would sometimes be pure love-making and others rough sex that brought both of them to bliss. After their last time, they were both in bed, naked. Jessica was lying on her stomach, her hands under the pillow, eyes closed, while Tom was on his side, looking at her, one hand supporting his head, the other stroking her back lovingly. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. Tears welled up and when she blinked, they fell down her face.

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry, sweetheart. Please. It's killing me. Please, baby, don't cry", he wiped the tears with his thumb and kissed her temple.

"I'm going to miss you so much. I know I shouldn't say this. I should be strong and not make you feel bad, but-".

"It's okay, my darling girl. I'm going to miss you, too. I never expected you to take it lightly. You're already being amazingly understanding and handling it in a great manner", he smiled and brought her head to his chest.

"Can I go to the airport with you?", she asked.

"Reporters, darling. They might be there. Now, I don't mind. I could as well get in the streets and shout that I love you. But, if I remember correctly, you aren't inclined towards them. Besides, I don't think I'll leave if you're there", he looked at her with his sparkling blue eyes.

"Will you wake me up when you are to leave?", she asked with hopeful eyes.

"It'll be too early, my love", Tom explained.

"I don't mind. Please, Thomas. I am not ready to say goodbye tonight, baby", she buried her face in his chest. "Please, please, please", she sobbed, trembling in his arms.

"Alright, my darling girl. Shh... Just don't cry, sweetheart. Not because of me". He held her close to his body until she drifted away to sleep. He felt his heart aching at the thought of being away from her for so long. And at that moment he knew he wanted to have her in his arms until the end of times.


	21. With a little help from my firends

"Hello?", Liz answered her phone in a bleary voice.

"Liz...He left", Jessica was sobbing, unable to hold back her tears anymore. She had done her best not to cry in front of Tom. He had woken her up at 6 AM, fully dressed. None of them said a single word, until they were at the door. When he hugged her tightly, she swallowed hard to keep her emotions from pouring. He held her for a while, stroking her hair, telling her how much he loved her and reassuring her that it would all be alright. He kissed her softly and she smiled weakly. She only stammered an _I love you_ , but said nothing more in fear of breaking down. It was as hard for him to leave for so long if not harder, and she didn't want to burden him any more. But hearing a loved one's voice now, after having spent more than two hours lying on the couch and starring at the ceiling, made it impossible for her not to let go.

"Oh, darling. I'm so sorry. Where are you? Do you want me to come over?", Liz asked in a warm voice.

"I'm at Tom's...", she sighed. "I need to get out of here. I can't be here without him. It's so...empty, so lifeless, so full of him, yet he isn't here. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind, Liz", Jessica started crying again.

"Everything's going to be fine, darling. I promise. Is he on the plane yet?", Liz asked.

"No...But I guess he has already arrived at the airport. He didn't want me to go with him...", Jessica wiped her tears and sat on the couch, his shirt in her hands, held tightly against her face so that she could smell his scent.

"Dear, you know that's not true. Of course he did. But it would be too painful for both of you. He loves you, Jess", Liz reassured her.

"I know. I love him, too", Jessica said in a hardly audible voice.

"Why don't you call him, talk to him some more before he leaves?", Liz suggested.

"No...I don't want to seem needy or make him feel bad for leaving. He's got a lot on his plate right now. I'd better let him rest his mind before his long flight", Jessica said with eyes closed, as if that would ease her pain. "Want to meet up in an hour?".

"Sure. Our usual?". Jessica confirmed and the two women said their goodbyes and hang up.

Just as Jessica was about to get up and go to have a shower, her phone buzzed, indicating she had a message. She opened it and her eyes welled up again. Tom had sent her a picture of himself, hood, ear-buds and sunglasses on, smiling and looking as handsome as always, despite the fact that he had woken up very early. A small text accompanied the picture;

 _I'm seriously thinking of running away, getting in the first cab I encounter and coming back to you. I love you, Jessica. I love you so much. And I miss you terribly already_. _\- Tom_

Jessica wiped her tears yet again and went straight to his bedroom. She opened his closet, took a jumper and a shirt out and laid them on his bed, along with the one she was already holding. She took a picture of them and sent it to him with a text reading;

_I'm taking those with me. They can hardly do justice to being wrapped in your arms, but they smell like you. I miss you like hell and I love you more each day. - Jess_

Not a whole minute had passed when her phone buzzed again. She opened the message and read to herself;

_Go to the table by the door. You'll find a set of keys. I left them there for you. You can go back to my home any time you want. Take whatever you want from it. Empty the damn place if you like. I don't care. The only thing I want to find when I come back is you. - Tom_

Jessica smiled and left her phone on the bed. She didn't know what to tell him. She couldn't really top what he had just sent. She walked to the bathroom and had a soothing shower. She returned fifteen minutes later with a towel around her body. She quickly got dressed and put her stuff - and his - in her bag. She walked to the door, took the keys from the table and turned around to take a look at his house. She definitely couldn't be there without him. She felt devastated by the emptiness his absence offered to the place. She sighed and opened the door. Once outside, she shut it and locked it. She slowly left the doorknob, as if it was dear to her, and started making her way to the place where she was supposed to meet Liz, her heart heavy in her chest. When she reached the cafe, she spotted Liz walking towards her and smiled at her from afar. Liz came closer, quickening her step, and hugged her friend lovingly.

"How are you holding up, darling?", she asked.

"I'm not sure", Jessica faked a smile. "I hope it'll get better in time".

"It will, my dear. Shall we?", Liz pushed the door open when Jessica's phone started ringing. She took it out of her pocket and saw Tom's name on the screen. She turned it to Liz and she nodded. "I'll order us some tea and wait inside". Jessica mouthed a _thank you_ while answering her phone.

"Hey, baby", she tried to sound as cheerful as she could. She was more than happy to hear his voice, but she knew what this call was about and she couldn't help feeling sad.

"Hello, my darling girl", he replied. "Where are you?".

"I'm meeting with Liz. She offered to comfort me with a cup of tea", she smiled to herself.

"Best type of comfort. Are you alright?", he asked concerned.

"Honestly? I feel like my heart is going to break into a thousand pieces and you aren't even gone yet, but I'll be fine". She tried to hold back her tears. "You're about to get on the plane, aren't you?", she sighed.

"Yes...Yes, I am. I wanted to hear your voice before I was engaged in a ten-hour flight. I'll call you the minute I land, though", Tom reassured her. "I love you, baby. God...What have you done to me? Why is this so bloody hard?". Jessica thought she heard his voice breaking.

"Oh, Thomas...I love you, too. We're going to be fine. It's all going to be alright", she tried to calm him down.

"Yes, sweetheart. It is. I'm so sorry", he apologised for showing his weakness, knowing it was difficult for both parts. "Will you wait for me tonight, till I touch the ground, to hear your voice again? I hate to ask you, but-".

"Of course I will, baby. I'm not sleeping until I actually hear your goodnight", she interrupted him. She heard somebody calling him, assuming it was Luke.

"I have to go, darling. Goodbye".

"Have a nice trip, baby", she told him and then...silence. Silence over the phone, in her head, her heart, her whole world. There was no way back now. In a few minutes, he would leave for eight months. She knew this was going to happen from the very beginning, but she had never expected it to be so hard, the pain in her heart making her believe that it would make it stop soon. She took a deep breath, determined to be strong for the sake of them both. She walked into the cafe and sat next to Liz, who looked at her with gentle eyes.

Liz did most of the talking that day. Jessica would either answer in one word or be completely lost in her own thoughts, shutting herself from her surroundings. Liz was very understanding, trying to make her laugh, each time failing, yet never giving up. At the end, she considered even mere smiles a success. She walked her to her house to make sure she was okay and left for work. Jessica spent the rest of her day trying to do things, but failing miserably; to eat, to study, to clean the house, to read a book. No matter what she did, her mind would always go back to him, to being apart from him, to missing him, and she would eventually give up. It was as if somebody had sucked the life out of her body. Feeling defeated, she took her laptop to her bedroom and laid back in her bed. She decided that the only thing that would probably ease her pain would be to watch one of his movies, just to be able to listen to his voice and see his face. She put on _The Deep Blue Sea_ and cried throughout the whole thing, sympathising with Hester missing Freddie so badly. She missed the man portraying him just as much after all. When the movie was over, she looked at her phone. He was supposed to have landed already, but still no sign of him. Had something bad happened to him? Did he forget about her? Just as she was about to send him a message, a window popped on her laptop screen, his photo on it, and the sound of Skype call filling the room. She smiled and clicked on the answer button. Tom's face came in view, exhausted, but still smiling.

"Oh, thank God you're awake. My battery died. I had to see you, sweetheart. God! I missed your face, darling".


	22. To the moon and back

The first days after Tom's departure were exceptionally difficult for both of them. His daily schedule would start at 5 A.M. almost every morning and apart from a two-hour lunch break and a few shorter ones in between scenes, he would be on set filming until very late in the evening. Jessica's day would usually begin around seven in the morning and she would either attend university classes or study in the library for hours. She had found that studying at home was not at all productive, as she would often lose focus and just stare at different places of the house, reminiscing the things she and Tom did together when he was there. At night, she would go for work to the pub, giving away her days-off for the time being, in an attempt to take them during her second semester exams. The time difference was taking its toll on them. She would usually be back home before he was back to his hotel room. The seven-hour time difference meant that she would have to be awake until the first hours of the morning for him to be able to talk on Skype. Even on the nights when she would have a late one at work, they would both be so tired that the online call wouldn't last more than a few minutes, before one of them decided that the other should go to sleep. Of course, they did speak on the phone and texted each other, but with Tom mostly being on set, most of Jessica's calls were missed and her texts late answered.

"Finally, a day off", Jessica sighed, crouched on her bed, and smiled at her laptop screen where Tom's face had just appeared. "I'm so excited I get to see you today, baby".

"I am too, my darling girl. I've missed you so much. Thank God I didn't have a long shooting today", Tom smiled and brushed his fingers on the screen as if he would feel her tender skin. "How are you, sweetheart?".

"Alright, I guess...It's almost a month to the exams now and I'm already feeling a bit restless and I miss you tremendously...", she pouted and he smiled warmly at her, "but...I'm trying. How was you day, baby?".

"It was fun, actually. I finished my scenes early and I got to watch and admire the legend that is Michael Keaton", Tom said excitedly, even star-struck. "But it got even better now that I can see your beautiful face".

"I love you, Thomas", Jessica's eyes welled up and she wiped them quickly for him not to see.

"I love you too, my love. Why are you crying, sweetheart?", he asked concerned.

"I just...I miss you so much", she sobbed.

"Stop crying, you mewling quim", he said in his full Loki voice.

"Tom!", Jessica shouted shocked and then burst out laughing, Tom following right after her. "Thanks for cheering me up, baby".

"You know...Now that I mentioned that line, do you know what else came to my mind?", Tom asked mischievously.

"Oh, God. Do I even want to know, Hiddleston?", she rolled over her eyes and shook her head.

"I don't know. Do you?", he asked in a low voice.

"Alright. Shoot me", she grinned.

"In the end, you will always kneel", he imitated his Loki voice again, his facial features hard, his eyes cold. Jessica felt a throbbing between her legs, a shiver down her spine. She tried not to show.

"Are you trying to seduce me like I'm one of your fangirls, Hiddleston?", she asked, her flushed face giving her away.

"Is it working, love?", his face dead serious.

"It might be...".

"Show me", he commanded.

"What?", she exclaimed.

"Come on, love. I've been trying to get myself off almost every night since I've been here. I miss you. I miss your body, your touch, your kisses, your lips. God, how badly I miss you mouth round my-".

"Thomas!", she interrupted him. "Are you high?".

"Baby, listen to me. I've been thinking of you every minute I'm not working. And every fucking time I get a fucking hard-on. I try to get off with my hand, but I can't, because I don't see your face, I can't hear you moaning my name. It's been driving me nuts", he explained. "Have you not missed me at all, darling? Sexually, I mean".

"Of course I have, Thomas", she blushed and looked away.

"Have you not touched yourself thinking about me?", he asked, but she didn't answer. "Jess, look at me, sweetheart". She slowly raised her eyes to the screen. "Have you...or have you not?".

"I have...", she said quietly, her cheeks now crimson.

"Will you show me, love?". Jessica went to protest again, but he didn't let her. "Just...lay back in your bed, take off your knickers and open your legs for me, darling. I will guide you through it". She nodded and obeyed. When she did, Tom gasped at the sight of her cunt. "Are you wet, baby? Touch yourself and tell me".

"Y-yes, Tho-Thomas", she moaned at the feeling of her cold fingers sliding through her warm centre.

"Close your eyes and suck your fingers, love. Suck them as if they were my cock. When they are soaked, rub them on your clit just like I would, baby", he ordered her in a husky voice, his palm cupping his erection over his slacks. Jessica did as he asked of her, moaning at the pleasure her fingers were creating between her legs. "That's it, love. Louder", Tom said, while unbuckling his belt. He undid his pants and dropped them to his feet, along with his underwear. He grabbed his stiff cock with one hand, stroking it lazily, while slowly unbuttoning his shirt with the other. "Jess, sit up a bit for me, darling. I want you to look at me while I'm doing this for you". She did just that, groaning at the sight of his naked body, his hand firmly around his shaft, his jaw clenched, eyes half closed.

"Oh, Thomas. I need to feel you inside me, baby. I want you", she gasped while looking at him, trying to fight the need to shut her eyes, all this time playing with herself.

"Fuck yourself with your fingers, love. Imagine it's me pounding into you...Oh, God. D-don't. Aah...Don't take your eyes off...of me", Tom struggled with his words, his grip around his cock tighter now, his strokes fast.

"Baby, I...Fuck! Tom, Tom...Oh, God, Thomas!", she was breathing fast, her fingers thrusting inside her in a quick pace.

"Come for me, Jess", he was stroking himself frantically. "Jesus...Christ! Come, love. Now!", he left a guttural sound.

"Aaaah, Tom! Oh, baby", she screamed as her orgasm hit her. She threw her head back and closed her eyes, her fingers slowing their pace as she was gradually coming down. As soon as he saw her at that state, Tom couldn't keep himself from reaching his peak. He gave two more strokes and spilled his seed on his stomach and hand, calling her name again and again.

"That...That was fantastic, darling", he was still panting. He wiped himself clean with some tissues and put his clothes back on. "Thank you".

"Any time, baby", Jessica wore her underwear, sat at the exact position she was before their playtime and winked at him, her face now back closer to the screen.

"Oh, now you liked it?", Tom teased her and they both laughed.

"Thomas, I wanted to ask your opinion on one thing and tell you another", Jessica said, now serious again.

"Sure, sweetheart. Go ahead".

"Well, I was thinking...You know how the control birth pill has some side effects, right?". Tom nodded. "I'm experiencing some of them, especially the mood swings. With you gone and my studies going crazier by the day, it's all bonkers. So, would you mind, for the time you're away, if I stopped taking it and we used a condom for the few times we see each other during these eight months?", she asked obviously concerned.

"My darling girl, even though I love the feeling of being bare inside you, there's nothing that matters more to me than your well-being. Of course we can. You didn't even need to ask, Jess. It's your body", he smiled gently. "What's the other thing?".

"Some friends from Uni suggested we go on a trip to Scotland next weekend to ease off a bit before our exams. I'm thinking of going. We will still talk, of course. I'll take my laptop with me", she gave him a reassuring smile.

"Is that wanker who tried to kiss you going, too? Roger?", he spitted his name.

"Yeah, I think he is. But there's no need to wo-"

"You're not going", he said miffed.

"Thomas, I didn't ask for your permission. Don't be ridiculous", she replied irritated.

"Jess, you are not going", he repeated firmly, angrily this time.

"Thomas, please, baby. Don't do this", she tried to reason with him.

"Are you even listening to me, Jessica?", he snapped at her. "I don't fucking want him anywhere near you!", he shouted.

"Call me when you get hold of yourself, Tom", she said plainly, not believing that her Tom would ever yell at her like that, and closed her laptop with a loud thud.


	23. Please, don't leave me

Tom started calling her immediately after she shut her laptop down, but Jessica didn't answer her phone. She knew he would probably be still angry and she didn't want to pick up a fight with him. The distance was making them itchy and, unless his temper was checked again, it wouldn't take long for her to start shouting, too. And that was the last thing she wanted to do with him. Jessica wasn't offended. She knew Tom trusted her. It was Roger he didn't trust. And who could blame him, really? That fucker had tried to kiss her against her will, right in front of Tom's eyes. But he didn't let her explain. Yes, Roger had turned out to be a piece of shit, but Jessica had already informed her male friends on the incident and there was no way they would let him go anywhere near her during the trip. They had talked about it. She had checked with them to make sure she would be safe if he were to go. But Tom wouldn't listen. About five calls and a desperate message later, he finally ceased calling her. It was already pretty late in London and Jessica was past her bedtime, having a class in the morning. She decided not to call him, not as a punishment, but rather to get her point across. So, she opted for a text, keeping it sweet, to reassure him of her unchanged feelings, but firm, to make him realise that he didn't get to make decisions for her.

_Thomas, I'm going to bed. It's rather late here. We'd better talk tomorrow. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everything's alright. I just don't want us to fight. I love you, baby - Jess._

The truth was that she expected him to call right away or send a text message. She thought it weird when he didn't do either, but did not question his decision for long. After all, to his eyes, he was right about the whole Roger thing. She lied down and sighed. Ever since they had started their relationship, that was the first night he hadn't wished her goodnight, one way or another. She didn't fall asleep straight off. She kept thinking about him, trying to imagine how he had taken her message, if he was still angry at her or even more so now. Had she been too hard on him? Eventually, she closed her eyes and was out.

Her phone started ringing and she groaned, thinking she had slept far too little to be up again. The persistent sound made her realise that it wasn't her alarm, but her ringtone. She opened her eyes and grabbed her phone from the night stand. It was Tom's number and it was five in the morning. She smiled, thinking that he couldn't go to sleep without hearing her voice. She had already forgotten about the whole thing, anyway, only caring about talking to him.

"Hey, baby", she said yawning.

"Uuum...Jessica? Hello...". _That's not Tom's voice_ , she thought and her brows furrowed.

"Uh...Who is this?", she asked.

"I-I'm Luke, Tom's publicist. I'm calling you from his phone", he hesitated.

"I can see that. Is...everything alright?", Jessica was completely baffled by this call.

"Jessica, there's been a...an accident", Luke stopped, half expecting her to speak, half thinking he should go on.

"Oh, my God!", she shouted and got up from her bed. "Luke, where's Tom? Oh, God! Where's my baby? Is he alright?", she freaked out, pacing up and down in the room, taking quick breaths.

"Tom...", he breathed in to gain some courage, "He's in surgery. His condition is pretty severe".

"You're joking, right?", she started sobbing. "He put you up to this to punish me. Luke, tell him I'm not mad at him. Tell him he can talk to me now", she was crying harder with every word that left her mouth. "Tell him....Please", she said in a whisper.

"I wish I could, Jessica. I'm sorry...", Luke's voice was desperate. None of them said anything for a while. The only sound Luke could hear was her deep breaths and loud sobs.

"Does his mother know?", she broke the silence, trying to keep it together. "Oh, my God...My baby...My Thomas...", she talked to herself.

"She was the first to know, but she didn't have your number. That's why I'm the one calling you. She's booking tickets for herself, Emma and you, right now. You need to call her. Let me give you the number", Luke offered.

"There's no need. Thomas had written it down for me, in case I needed anything while he was away", Jessica explained. "Thank you".

"Sure, darling".

"Take care of him while we're on our way, please", Jessica sniffled, trying to hold back her tears.

"He'll make it, dear. He will", Luke tried to reassure her.

"He'd better, because I don't want to be without him. I love him", her tears were running down her face again. "I'll see you in a few hours, Luke. Thank you. Bye".

"Bye".

Jessica instantly called Diana and, as soon as they made all arrangements, she picked up a few things and was soon in a cab, on her way to the airport. When she met Diana and Emma there, they both looked worried beyond imagination, so Jessica tried her best to keep a straight face. Tom was their blood, after all. They needed all the support they could get.

"Do you...know what happened?", Jessica asked when the three of them had found their seats on the plane.

"He went to Luke's room and told him that he had been a tit to you and now you wouldn't talk to him. He said that he needed a drive to clear his head. Luke agreed, but only if he were the one to drive the car-".

"Jesus! Luke was in the car, too?", Jessica interrupted Diana.

"Yeah...But he only got some minor injuries. My brother, on the other hand....A wanker passed a red light and hit their car on the passenger's side, where Tom was", Emma finished the story.

"It's my fault...I should have answered my bloody phone. He was just worried about me, my poor baby", Jessica buried her face in her hands.

"Jessica, dear, it isn't your fault. The only person to blame here is that irresponsible man who violated the light in full speed", Diana put her hand on Jessica's shoulder and, when she looked at her, she faked a smile, the sadness obvious in her eyes.

"Jess, don't beat yourself up, darling. Luke told me that Tom read your message and immediately brightened up. Before he lost consciousness, he told Luke that he loves you more than any other woman he has ever loved", Emma tried to comfort her, but, in reality, this made Jessica even more tormented.  _What if I never get to tell him how much he means to me, how he has made me a better version of myself, how he is my whole world and everything I could ever possible ask for and more?_

The trip seemed endless. Both Diana and Emma drifted to sleep at some point, but Jessica couldn't. Her mind was too occupied with thinking about her Thomas. She feared for the worst. She couldn't lose him. She would rather he had broken up with her. Anything but this. Then, her thoughts wandered to her parents. Every detail from their accident came back to her.  _I can't lose you, too, baby. Not like this. Not again. Please, please, Thomas...Don't leave me_.

Luke had sent a car to pick them from the airport. Luckily, the hospital wasn't too far off, but it was a good thirty-minute drive, which seemed like eternity to the three women.

"He's out of danger", Luke sighed when he saw them walking towards him. "He's in intensive care, but he's going to be alright", he smiled widely. At the sound of the good news, Diana hugged Emma and Jessica, then Luke. Jessica's eyes welled up from happiness. He was well, he was alive. It was all that mattered to her now.

"Can we see him?", the mother asked. "Is he awake?".

"Just, but the doctor said that only one person at a time is allowed in the room", Luke explained. The two younger women nodded at Diana to go, but Luke stopped her. "Um...I'm sorry, Diana, but he keeps on repeating Jessica's name. Maybe she should go".

"No, no, no. She's his mother. She should go", Jessica rushed to answer.

"Darling, it seems like you're the only one on his mind right now", Diana smiled warmly at her. "As long as he is okay, I don't mind. Really. I'll see him after you. Go, now". Jessica thanked her and followed Luke down the corridor and into the intensive care wing. He showed her the room and left.

Jessica slowly opened the door and walked inside, closing it behind her, trying not to make too much noise. Tom's eyes were closed, his chest bare, rising and falling with every breath he was taking, the machines steadily beeping. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, tears coming to her eyes, when she saw small injuries all over his face and an open wound on his chest, assuming it was the reason he had to undergo an operation. She slowly walked to his side and sat in the chair next to him. She carefully placed her hand on his and called his name softly. Tom opened his eyes and looked at her, blinking a few times before he spoke.

"My darling girl....I'm so, so sorry".


	24. Not a day's rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise unreservedly for the long wait. Unfortunately, I went through a very rough time that made it impossible for me to keep the story going for a while. To those of you who are still reading my story, thank you for being here. Please, be patient with me and my updates. I am doing the best I can, under the given circumstances. :)

Jessica lowered her head to the bed until her forehead touched his upper hand. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to hold back the tears welling up her eyes. She felt guilty, responsible for what had happened to Tom. All the way from London to the States, the only thing she was wishing for was for him to be alive. All she wanted was to be able to talk to him again, feel his touch, hear his voice. She wasn't one to believe in Gods, fate and destiny, but she couldn't help thinking that she was being punished for some reason, that she was bad news for the people she loved and loved her back.

"Please, sweetheart, don't cry", Tom whispered. "Hey, look at me, love. Please". Jessica lifted her head and wiped her tears. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"You are so handsome", she said in a trembling voice.

"Ehehehe. I don't think so, darling. Not like this...", he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips to kiss it. "How bad is it?".

"It doesn't matter. You always look beautiful to me, Thomas", she lightly brushed her fingers on a wound next to his mouth. "Does it hurt?".

"I think my whole body does", he smiled weakly. "Jess, I love you so much, darling. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry for what I said to you, for the way I spoke, for-".

"Hey, hey. Shhh...There's no need to apologise, Thomas. It's alright, love", she smiled.

"No...", Tom shook his head, "no, Jess, it isn't. You've never given me a reason to doubt you and I behaved like a total prick", he sighed.

"Baby, if you really have the need to talk about it, we will. But now is not the right time. Okay?", she asked tenderly and he nodded. Tom blinked his eyes a few times and then closed them completely.

"God! I don't seem to be able to stay awake for long ever since I got my senses back", he spoke in a barely audible voice.

"I'll let you rest, baby", Jessica gave him a peck on his lips. "Do you think you can handle one more visit before you go back to sleep? Your mother's dying to see you".

"Yes...yes, of course", he mumbled. She was fairly positive that by the time his Diana would be through the door, he would have already fallen asleep, but she had to try. She stood up and carefully kissed his forehead before she left the room, closing the door behind her. She slowly walked back to the waiting room, trying to shake off the shock and sadness Tom's image had instilled in her.

"How is he?", Diana asked the moment she saw Jessica entering the room.

"He...um...he's in pain and tired, but he's waiting for you", she smiled, not knowing if Luke had already informed her on Tom's wounds on his face and if she should prepare her for what she was about to see. "Diana...He has, um, a few injuries on his face. They don't seem serious, though. And there's a pretty bad one on his chest, too", she looked at the floor as if it was her fault.

"I know, my dear. The doctor came by". Jessica immediately looked at her and her eyes widened. "Luke and Emma will tell you everything", Diana said tenderly and walked towards Tom's room.

"The ones on his face will steadily heal on their own", Luke started talking when Jessica turned and looked at him. "The one on his chest is pretty nasty. Once it's healed, which will take some time, a plastic surgery will be performed to cover the scar", he told her everything the doctor had said to them previously. "He was very lucky, you know...He could have d-".

"Don't even say it, Luke", Emma gave him a stern look. "God, don't I need coffee!", she ran her palms on her face.

"Do you want me to get you some?", Luke asked.

"No, dear. I could use some walking after the flight. Just tell me where I could find one". Luke explained to her how to find the hospital's cafeteria. "Would you, guys, like me to get you something?". Luke shook his head. "Jess?".

"No, thank you, Emma. I'll go outside to have a smoke", she smiled and Emma left. "Do you want to come outside with me?", Jessica asked Luke.

"Yeah, sure", he answered and the two of the them walked towards the exit in total silence.

When the stepped outside the hospital's doors, they went down the steps of the entrance doors.  Jessica lit her cigarette and exhaled the smoke, while Luke took a seat at the stairs. None of them really knew what to talk about. They didn't even know each other and they were thrown together in one of the most difficult situations either of them had to go through.

"Luke, you should go back to the hotel. You really need to rest. We're here now", she looked at him and smiled warmly.

"I was thinking of waiting for Diana to come out and then we can all go together. We could all use some sleep", he rubbed his eyes, obviously exhausted. "Besides, there's not much we can do for him while he's in IC. We can't even see him properly".

"I won't leave him...", Jessica shook her head. "Luke, what happens with the movie now?Is he going to lose the job because of me?".

"I honestly don't know, Jess... I haven't really spoken with anyone yet. They only know we were hit and he's in hospital", he sighed. "My guess is he won't. He has already filmed some stuff. It'll probably cost more to replace him than wait for him to heal. Unless, of course, the doctor thinks he should be out for long", Luke shrugged his shoulders. "And it isn't your fault, Jess. You had a fight, just like all couples do. He would have probably asked me for a ride even if you had answered your phone", he tried to reassure her.

"I wish we would have met under completely different circumstances, you and I", she smiled and took a drag.

"Yeah...But meeting you, even like this, I can now totally understand why Tom is enamored of you. You really are everything he ever wanted. You two are meant for each other", Luke smiled widely.

"Luckily he was smart enough to see it when I was too blind to do so", Jessica said bitterly, reminiscing the very beginning of their relationship.

"You know...", Luke hesitated for a moment, "I remember the night he called me after he had ran into you in that pub, right before he was to leave for L.A. We were on the phone for quiet some time and he was going mad about you, his mood changing constantly from sad to angry and back again. At some point I tell him he shouldn't be like that for someone who wasn't interested. He remained silent for a while and when he spoke again, he said something I think I've memorized. _Luke, I know you always tell me I fall too hard, but, mate, this one I will either make mine or go crazy trying_ ". Jessica's eyes welled up. She would never give up on him, on them, again.

"I think we should go back inside", Jessica wiped her tears. Luke nodded, smiled and stood up.

"Luke! Luke!", loud voices came from the other side of the hospital's yard.

"Oh, God...", he shook his head in disbelief. "How the fuck..."

"What is it?", Jessica asked confused and turned her head at the direction the voices were coming from. Flashes started going off.

"Reporters!"

 


	25. Here comes the real trouble

Jessica and Luke rushed back inside the hospital while the reporters kept shouting his name. This was really the tip of the iceberg. Jessica didn't know how to handle it and Luke, even though it was his job, was too tired to do so.

"How on Earth did they find out so quickly?", Jessica asked with a worried look.

"They always do, dear", Luke sighed. "Fucking vultures!"

"Maybe you should talk to them, tell them what's going on", Jessica suggested.

"And justify their actions? Make them believe that it's perfectly alright for them to impose on somebody who's seriously injured just because he's famous?", he said fairly loudly, obviously frustrated by their presence. "No fucking way".

"What I mean is... More than half of them will run with the story anyway. And by noon today you'll have your phone ringing endlessly", Jessica explained her point of view. "Thomas has many fans who will get worried. I'm not telling you to do it for the reporters. But his fans do deserve to know that he's out of danger", she concluded. Luke looked at her in awe.

"Where have you been all of his life?", he smiled. "But there's a bit of a problem there, dear. They saw you and have probably even taken photos of you. They know you're not either of his sisters and they'll figure out you're not from the production team". He put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her in the eyes. "Are you ready to be the mysterious woman that was here to see him and see your face all over the Internet?"

"Luke, if you really think that going out there and talking to them is the right thing for Tom's career, then I'm willing to accept it", she smiled warmly. "I sacrificed part of my privacy the moment I entered this relationship. I'm just now realising it. It would be stupid to blame anyone but myself for being in this position, because I had a choice".

"I have to warn you, though. From now on, it might not be pretty", Luke said worriedly.

"But I'll have Tom by my side, right?", she asked.

"Of course, darling. And me", he smiled at her. "Off you go now, back to the waiting room with Diana and Emma, dear. I'll call my team and conduct an announcement with them. Then, I'll go outside and do it, and then we can all go to the hotel to get some rest". Jessica went to protest. "I'll have none of it. Tom is tired from the operation. He'll be out for some time. We'll come back later. I promise". Jessica nodded and walked to the door, but as she reached it, she stopped and turned around.

"Luke, what about Tom?", she asked.

"What about him?"

"Don't you have to ask him if he wants the announcement?"

"Like you said, they'll write about it anyway. I won't tell them anything about you. If someone asks, I'll tell them you're just a very good friend of him who happened to be in the States and came to see him. Some will run with it, some will say whatever they want", he answered. "If they write about you, we'll start preparing his fans for the news of you being his girlfriend. But that's for much later, so no worries about that".

"What if Tom doesn't want that yet?", Jessica worried, but she soon turned confused when Luke laughed hard.

"The other day, during an interview, when the reporter asked him if there was a special woman in his life, I was jumping up and down and waving my hands in the air to prevent him from saying yes without having first asked you. Trust me, dear, he wants people to know about you", he winked at her and dialed a number on his phone. Jessica smiled and walked out of the room.

"He's asleep", Diana informed Jessica when she saw her entering the room. "Where's Luke?"

"He's going to make an announcement... There are reporters right outside the hospital's gates", Jessica sighed.

"Did they see you?", Emma asked.

"Yes...", Jessica replied plainly.

"Are you alright with this, my dear?", Diana asked worriedly. Jessica sat on the couch and let out a sigh, burying her face in her hands.

"I don't know...", she looked up. "All I care about right now is for Thomas to be alright and healthy, to wake up, to see him walking and hear his voice". She couldn't control her tears anymore. "I'm so sorry. He's your son and I'm the one crying", she said with a weak smile, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"That's because you, too, love him, dear". Diana sat next to her, putting her hand on Jessica's shoulder. "Don't worry about it", she offered her a hug and Jessica gladly responded.

"I have to call my friends and tell them where I am... They'll get worried", Jessica tried to gather herself.

"Jess, what about your studies and your job?", Emma seemed concerned.

"Dave's a friend. He'll understand I can't go to work when I explain the situation to him", Jessica answered. "I'll see what I'll do with my studies".

"Tom will never forgive himself if you have any trouble with your studies because of him", Emma told her. "Maybe you should go back. He's out of danger now, anyway", she added.

"I'll certainly stay for a couple more days and then I might go back to London. I don't want to leave him just yet and I don't even know when I might see him again", Jessica sighed.

Silence had fallen in the room for some time now. The three women were sitting on the couch waiting for Luke, Emma in a state of sleep, Diana's eyes red and tired, and Jessica lost in her thoughts. She had always been so independent and now she was ready to give up everything for Tom, just to be with him, just to be his. She had never felt anything like this before and it scared the hell out of her, but she still wouldn't trade the emotions his love filled her heart with anything. None of the three women noticed Luke walking into the room until he spoke to them.

"Everything's taken care of", he smiled gently to them. "We can go back to the hotel, ladies. I've booked a room for the two of you", he looked at Diana and Emma, "and you, Jess, can have Tom's room". The women nodded and got up from the couch. Emma groaned loudly, wanting to sleep, no matter the place. While they were walking towards the exit, Jessica's phone started ringing. She took it out of her bag, only to find Liz calling her.

"Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you?", Liz sounded panicked.

"I'm... Tom had an accident and got operated. He's out of danger now, but I left for the States early in the morning", Jessica explained. "I was going to call you a bit later".

"What the... Gosh!", Liz sighed. "Give him my best wishes".

"Yeah, sure. Liz, is there something wrong? Were you looking for me?". Silence...

"William's looking for you, Jess. He went by your place, but he didn't find you there and came to mine. He just left...", Liz answered, her voice almost trembling.

"William as in... Shit!", Jessica cursed loudly, causing the other three to stop walking and look at her, tears filling her eyes.

"As in your bloody brother! He's dangerous, Jess. And he's out again..."

 


End file.
